Living Twice
by forest.of.acorns
Summary: I am Elizabeth Midford, a daughter, a sister, and fiance to one Ciel Phantomhive. I am Elizabeth Midford, who also happens to be a teenager who is apparently reincarnated into the world of Black Butler. Honestly? "...I think I'd rather jump off a cliff." I am Elizabeth Midford, and I am screwed. So, so screwed. SI!Lizzy
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Hello! So I'm writing a self/OC-insert, which people don't really like hahaa. This is an experiment, in first POV, which I _never_ do since I find it really difficult for some reason D: I'm pretty excited about this story since I can play around with many things in this. Ciel deserves a lot more love since his life is kind of screwed up, but I didn't just want to write a Ciel/OC story, so I decided to have a slightly different spin on Black Butler. A different Lizzy can cause a whole wave to crash over Cannon. Elizabeth, despite the recurring appearances, feels like a side character most of the time. It wasn't until the whole Zombie arc did I actually like her, since she was...to be blunt, whiny, and childish. Yes, she is a child- but I dunno. It kinda rubs me the wrong way? Probably a personal problem. But I chose Elizabeth for other reasons too, like- her being one of the only girl characters to be close to Ciel. Seriously. This is long. Wao.

I'm not writing this fic for romance, I'm writing for development and friendship. So um, please don't expect much romance if there is any. I'm still not sure about this part though, so we'll see!

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy. Feel free to point out if she's too perfect or too selfless etc, or if anyone's OOC. (I hate when that happens.) Oh! Point out my mistakes and flaws as well, if possible. My grammar is understandable, but still not right in terms of the English grammar D: English isn't really my first language. Thank you!

 **Summary:** I am Elizabeth Midford, daughter of two loving parents and a sister to one overprotective brother. I am Elizabeth Midford, who also happens to be a teenager who is apparently reincarnated into the world of Black Butler as the fiance of one Ciel Phantomhive. I am Elizabeth Midford, and I am screwed. So, so screwed. SI/OC (Hope this makes sense)

 **Disclaimer:** Black Butler does not belong to me, nor is the cover pic. Both belongs to Yana Toboso.

 **Genre:** Humor, Adventure, Friendship, Family, Romance if you squint but not really

 **Edit: 6/15/17**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Morning After  
** _The...Newly Reincarnated Person, Mind Blown_

 _"Weak in order to love, strong in order to protect, both in order to stay at your side."- Elizabeth_

* * *

I never believed in Heaven or Hell, it just seemed too...magical, unrealistic. It sounded like some sort of fairy tale, good people go to Heaven, and bad people go to Hell. Life just isn't that simple, it never is. I didn't really have a specific religion, though my family believed in Buddhism. I, myself, believe in reincarnation. It's just a simple theory of mine, a rather hopeful one. I believe in a cycle, where one dies and hundreds, or maybe thousands of years later they are reborn— their memories wiped clean and they can start anew. Perhaps my beliefs are a mash up of many different religions, I don't know, and I certainly don't care enough to find out.

Reincarnation. A cycle of souls. A new start.

That's what I believed in...

So why the heck am I here, bawling my eyes out as a baby with my memories intact?

* * *

Being a baby with a brain of a teenager's sucks. _A lot_.

I couldn't tell how much time was passing by, nor could I really see anything. Everything was simply too blurry to make out, and I kept on falling asleep constantly. I suppose that babies are simply born this way; weak and needing food and rest. But I hated not being in control, and it was quite humiliating to be cleaned and changed. It was uncomfortable, and every foreign touch made my skin crawl. I think I had the right to be grossed out, as I had absolutely no idea who was doing the touching. Yes— logically, it would be the doctor, nurses or my parents, but who can know for sure? I could be in some sort of science lab as they prepare to cut me open to experiment on me or something. Thankfully, those around me spoke in English, even though there was an accent that sometimes made it difficult for me to understand. Not that having no accent would have helped much seeing that I blacked out so much it was hard to understand anything important.

There were a few points that I managed to catch though. One, I am a girl based on the cooing of the nurses and my parents. Two, I am apparently a really pretty baby, though I'm not too sure about _that_ since parents tend to be biased. I'm quite sure that even if I was the spitting image of a screaming baby chimpanzee that they would still insist that I was pretty. (Besides, don't all the babies look the same at the start? Wrinkled, tiny and red. I think they're more on the ugly side when they first come out though.) Three, based on the bits I've heard— my family is quite well off, enough to have servants at least (but really though, who had servants these days?). Four, my name is Elizabeth. Quite a common name, though still beautiful I guess.

Lastly, I apparently have an older brother.

I'm really not too sure about having an older sibling since I only had one younger sibling in my past life. My sister was often spoiled and loud, but I loved her. _Love._ I still love her- nothing has changed. She could be so sweet some times, but I suppose that's not important anymore huh... but it was. I wanted to cling to reality, _my reality_ , because this weird world where I was a baby and people spoke in English but _not my English_ wasn't real. If it was real, what did that make the past me? Chopped liver? Non existent? These days I spent a lot of time crying and fussing and being an angsting teen I guess. It almost made me glad that I was a baby, because it wasn't so embarrassing then.

I don't want dwell on it. I can't. Not when I had new parents and a family that deserved better than a _fake_ who clearly carried extra baggage. They asked for a normal baby but instead got some sort of weird hybrid. Those poor, poor parents. What did they do to deserve _me_ of all people? It was almost funny if it wasn't so horrible.

I won't dwell on it, but I will never forget the family who I loved and took care of. It seemed selfish to ignore the parents I have now, besides— I wasn't even sure if this was _reincarnation_. For all I know, I could have _stolen_ this child's body. _This child's life, family, friends._

(Please, please, _please_ , don't let that be the truth.)

So I won't think about it, I'll simply live life to the fullest.

And if these buried emotions explode on me one day, I only have myself to blame.

* * *

The world was a terrifyingly blurry place, and for a while, I was actually worried that there was something _wrong_ with my eyes. But there wasn't, so that was a moot point. It was a gradual process I think.

My eyesight _finally_ improved enough to see properly, and I was greeted with a, well- to be blunt: beautiful face. She was pretty, with noble features and pale skin. A long lock— a cowlick— draped over the side of her forehead and flowed down to her chest with a curl. Golden tendrils popped out from the messy bun it was in. What caught my attention the most however, were the brilliant green eyes that stared down at me with a content and firm but loving expression.

Mother.

That's who this woman was, I realized with a bit of surprise. If I looked anything like _that_ , then I was _definitely_ a pretty baby.

"Mother! May I see her? Is she awake yet?"

I jolted in surprise at the new voice, and my attempt in rolling over or turning to see who it was, failed. Completely. It was a child's voice; most likely a male.

"Patience, Edward. And yes, Elizabeth is now awake. Quiet down, it would not be good to startle her and make her cry now."

Edward, looking properly contrite (or so I guess) gave an affirmative before eagerly rushing over. Mother gently lowered me so the boy could peek at me easier. The boy, my brother I realize (and what was with the slow realizations? It should've been obvious! Maybe my brain was affected?) looked at me in awe. He was a pretty boy, having our mother's blonde hair and green eyes. "She looks so small..." He trailed off, eyeing me with fascination. He poked my tiny fingers that were currently curled up, and reflexively— I grabbed his finger.

His jaw dropped in surprise and my— _our_ mother kindly told him to shut it. Edward attempted to wriggle his finger out of my chubby grip, but I did not relent. Instead, I frowned, unintentionally tearing up. Needless to say, Edward panicked. "Sorry!" His wriggling finger paused, tensing before relaxing in my grip.

...Adorable.

Holy crap, my new brother is _adorable_.

Alright, I love children. Bite me. I loved playing with kids and teaching them things. They were just so sweet (well...most of them were), and I have to admit that I adored cute things as well. That was why I had wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to teach them new things, teach them manners, beliefs, and prepare them for future years. I had not been able to accomplish that in my past life, but hopefully I would be able to this time? Maybe...but for now, I think I'll stick with teaching my new older brother. Make sure that he will grow up honorable, and safe. Yes, for now that would be okay.

I sent my new brother a (gummy) dazzling smile, plans already whirling in my head.

The look on his face in reply made me regret it a bit, as I sensed a possible...well, developing sister complex. That, or a severe over-protectiveness.

 _...Oh, brother._

* * *

So you know how I assumed I was reincarnated? Yeah, well…

I was in the Victorian Age. I repeat. THE VICTORIAN AGE. I am apparently British now; I'm not too sure how I feel about it since I don't _feel_ British. Stating that I was ready to go home, my parents had a carriage ready and everything. The...dresses (I would say monstrosities) that I saw as I was carried out were a huge eye opener, and the time period I was in only made my head spin. I had been born in the late nineteen nineties in my past life...now I was born in the eighteen seventies. Time travel? Was this supposed to happen? Or was this some sort of mistake? The realization was a huge blow to my own reincarnation beliefs. I believed I would be born in the future, not go back to the past! Did the Victorian age even have flushable toilets? Plumbing? I had thought that the hospital I had been in was suspiciously technology-less, and the suit Edward wore was stiff and way too formal for a child, but I had just brushed it off as a future or rich people thing.

My stupidity clearly knows no bounds.

In addition to all that new information, I saw my father the day after meeting Edward. He was, despite his appearance...surprisingly cheery. He was a doting father to be honest, and the complete opposite of mother. I guess 'opposite attracts' apply in this case.

And so now, we were heading 'home.' I could only hope that everything would be okay.

.

Home was apparently a huge mansion. Cue the unnoticeable jaw drop. I knew that they were rich, but this rich? It was _huge_ compared to my old modest two story house (which I missed quite a bit). Father left the carriage first, and mother passed me to him, who passed me to a maid. He helped her get out of the carriage, and I could hear the excited yells of Edward.

"She's here, she's here!" I assumed he ran to us, based on the tromping noises. "Oh! Mother, Aunt Rach-"

"Francis!" A new voice called out.

I wriggled, curious to see who it was- and the maid indulged me by propping me up, allowing me to face the newcomer.

She was...well, awfully beautiful. I twitched, wondering if all British women were so good looking. I could tell that she was probably younger then mother- at least she _looked_ younger with flaxen colored hair and bright blue eyes. The most noticeable thing however, was the bulge on her stomach. _Was she pregnant_?

"Rachel?" Mother sounded quite surprise as she stood there, eyes wide. "What are you doing here? A lady in your condition nonetheless!"

Rachel smiled guiltily, clasping her hands together. "Oh, but I wanted to see her! I could not visit you in the hospital, and Vincent was much too busy, so it is only proper that I come in his place."

Mother looked exasperated, but reached for me nonetheless. I could see Edward twitching beside us, trying to act all proper and gentlemanly; though it was clear he'd rather jump around. Again, my brother is just way too cute!

"Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford." My mother murmured softly, passing me to Rachel. I tried to not wrinkle my nose at the name. It was such a mouthful!

"She's beautiful...she even has your green eyes, Francis. I can only hope that my child will have my eyes, though Vincent has lovely brown eyes as well." She looked at me gently, and I realized that she looked even more beautiful when she smiled. Suddenly, her eyes lit up in excitement. "Oh, Francis! I just had the loveliest idea!" She passed me back to mother, and placed both of her hands on her stomach. "When my child is born, let us have them engaged!"

I blanched. Mother choked, and I could have sworn that I heard Edward let out a loud, undignified, "Whaatt?!"

"Rachel! You do not even know if your child is a boy yet! It could be a girl." Mother pointed out quite reasonably in my opinion.

Rachel merely grins, "It's a boy. I can feel it, call it a mother's intuition."

Mother merely shakes her head, and I had a feeling that she wanted to face palm.

"So? Will you?" She persisted. _Say no, no, no, no. If you say no, I promise I will never throw tantrums and wake you up in the middle of the night by crying!_

Edward took this moment to offer his input. "Mother!" He cried, aghast and looking quite horrified. "Lizzy is too young!"

Mother raised a brow, and I myself frowned at the nickname. It wasn't bad, just...weird. "She's going to have to wed someone sooner or later, and it is not a bad idea," she admits. "Better your child then someone else's. If your child turns out to be a boy, I will agree."

HOLY CRAP. She just sent me off. To an _unborn_ baby! Oh gosh, that's gross. A baby! Not even a baby. Wait one moment as I barf in my mouth, I feel like such a pedophile. (Granted I am a baby myself, but I was like, fifteen in my old life. Then again, I'm eternally fifteen till I pass it in this life, but still!)

"Father! You do not agree to this, do you?"

Father simply laughs, "I don't see why not, I'm sure they will be a lovely couple. But if Elizabeth ever refuses, I hope that is alright with you, Lady Rachel." _I REFUSE. Refuse, refuse, refuse._

Rachel laughs, but agrees happily. "Of course, but I'm sure my child will be more than satisfactory."

UGH. UGGGHHH. DOTING MOTHER. Also known as: she has no proof or idea what the heck she's talking about.

* * *

And so— weeks pass, and Vincent (who was actually mother's brother, which meant that I was engaged to my cousin...) came to visit, with a smiling Rachel in tow, who now had a slightly larger bump.

"Sister, I must apologize for not coming to visit any sooner, I was quite busy on my trip."

Wao. Waooo. Vincent was one _good looking_ guy. He's very...pretty. Mother merely shakes her head, shifting me in her arms. "Business is business. I know that clearing everything must have been quite tedious." Vincent merely smiles, and suddenly, I felt a flash of familiarity. Huh, did I see him somewhere before? A figure in history? A picture in a book? I could have sworn that I've seen that smile before. In fact, a lot of things seemed familiar in some distant way, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The thought kept evading me, like streams of sunlight. Just what was I missing?

Rachel distracted me from my thoughts as she poked my cheek, smiling brightly. "She's grown a bit since I've last seen her. Vincent, do come here and take a look at our niece." Vincent flashes her another familiar smile before approaching me, brown eyes observing my features.

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. It felt as if he was judging my value. (As if he was weighing my pros and cons, treating me as merchandise instead of a living, breathing human being.

It was terrifying.)

"Elizabeth, was it? She is a pretty child."

"Of course! Nothing but the best for Ciel right?"

Oohhh. Ciel was a nice name I had to admit. In fact, there was an anime character with that exact name.

I froze. Ciel? The name brought a few flashes of memories, dark blue hair, bright blue eyes, an eye patch, a demon butler cloaked fully in black. I felt myself tense, how many people were named Ciel? Dark blue hair flashed in my mind again as I spotted Vincent's dark hair. And those breathtaking blue eyes eerily resembled...Rachel's.

I felt my throat clog as an unexplainable panic started to set in. Calm down! The adults are going to be suspicious! It was no big deal, it was just a few coincidences. One...two...three. A deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. There.

"Oh? You thought of a name already?"

Rachel beamed. "Yes! Ciel; Vincent and I decided a few days ago."

Vincent's lips curled up into a small, knowing smile. "Ciel Phantomhive. Fitting for an Earl, would you not agree?"

My brain shattered.

* * *

Due to fact that I am unable to write in my current form, this will have to do.

 _-September 23, 1875: Entry One of the Chronicles in my Head: Current Status: Mind blown-_

 _Dear, Whoever the Hell is up in the sky, watching me (since there are demons and angels, there is probably some sort of God too)_

 _Do you think is funny?! Placing me in Black Butler? Do you? Is this some sort of punishment for not believing in God? Is that it? If so, then that is incredibly petty of you (in the nicest way possible of course, in case you get pissed and decide to smite me with thunder or something equally painful)._

* * *

Denial.

I think that's the state I am in right now. I'm in denial, even though I have no reason to be. All the pieces fit, Elizabeth. Elizabeth Midford! How could I have forgotten? But Elizabeth had been such a common name, so had Francis, Edward and Alexis. Hundreds of people could have had the name, it was only right that I didn't realize. But Rachel and Vincent. I mean, who the hell has blue hair? Dark blue hair, but blue hair nonetheless. I knew that I had trouble remembering faces and details, but really? I didn't know I was _that_ bad.

I am apparently Elizabeth Midford, fiance of Ciel Phantomhive, the future Queen's Watchdog.

...

I think I'd rather jump off a cliff.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And that's the end of chapter one, I wanted to make it a lot longer, but this looked like a really, really good place to end it DX

Thank you for reading, and please tell me what you think so far.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Wao! Thanks for all the lovely reviews and support! (10 faves and 11 follows) I did not expect people to actually check this out ; u ; So thanks for those who did! This chapter is around 4,000 words. Not a lot, but it's longer than chapter one at least. This is probably the quickest I'll update since I was pretty excited. This chapter is unexpectedly angsty. I have no idea how this happened?

Once again, please point out any flaws, and I'm trying to make them talk politely/fancy but I seem to be failing.

 **Summary:** I am Elizabeth Midford, a daughter, a sister, and fiance to one Ciel Phantomhive. I am Elizabeth Midford, who also happens to be a teenager who is apparently reincarnated into the world of Black Butler. Honestly? "...I think I'd rather jump off a cliff." I am Elizabeth Midford, and I am screwed. So, so screwed. SI!Lizzy

 **Disclaimer:** Black Butler does not belong to me, nor is the cover pic. Both belongs to Yana Toboso.

 **Genre:** Humor, Adventure, Friendship, Family, and Romance if you squint

 **Edit: 7/17/17**

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Noon Day  
** _The Baby, Oath and Happenings_

 _"Ciel hadn't become smaller. It was I who had grown bigger. And so I made a new vow. I would become a bride who could protect Ciel."-Elizabeth_

* * *

Ciel Phantomhive was born on a chilly day in mid-December, when the sky was pure white and the trees were completely bare of any leaves.

I remember that day clearly, because that was the day that Aunt (yes, I'm referring to her as an Aunt now) Rachel oh-so-kindly reminded (more like rubbed in Mother's face) me that I was now Ciel's fiance.

 _Because that's just fantastic, and I'm super happy about having a day old baby as my future husband._

Despite feeling a bit grossed out, I was sincerely happy that Aunt Rachel safely gave birth to Ciel. I had heard— and even seen proof that she had a weak body. She apparently had many miscarriages before I was born— they often made her upset and depressed, bitter about her weak body. Getting pregnant with Ciel had made her brighten up again, and being able to safely deliver him was even better.

* * *

I had also met Madame Red a few months ago, but I had not recognized her at first glance. She had seemed so...different, more meek and shy in her red dress as Aunt Rachel dragged her over. She cooed over me and smiled brightly, and I could tell that she truly adored children.

And now we meet again, as she carried Ciel out. Vincent, as the father, took hold of him first, staring at the baby Ciel with brown eyes that seemed to soften. I couldn't really tell what he was thinking; it was always so hard to read him. Even in the manga, I found his character confusing. Was he just using everybody and putting up an act? Or did he genuinely care about his family? He was the Queen's Watchdog, the one who did all the unpleasant work. Vincent always did hide his true thoughts under an enigmatic smile. He gave one more lingering look at Ciel before looking at us.

And then— as if his glance was some sort of signal— one by one, we all crowded around him, even Edward, who had been originally reluctant to come see 'Lizzy's future husband'. Baby Ciel was cute, in the way all babies are I suppose. It hadn't been long since he was born, a few weeks perhaps? But those cheeks were ridiculously chubby and I resisted the urge to poke them, not that I was able to anyways; seeing how I needed someone to carry me around 24/7 and had short stubby arms. Ugh. (Five months, and still so useless!)

Vincent smiles, turns around to talk to Madame Red for a moment before placing the newborn in her care. He politely excuses himself before going into the room where Aunt Rachel resides.

I let out an internal 'Awww' at that. Surprisingly, pretty boy really did love his wife. It was quite adorable.

.

Baby Ciel was much cuter closer up, I realize. The adults, deciding it would be endearing— (adults are weird?) had laid Ciel and I on a white fluffy cot of some sort, just letting us interact. There were maids however; who watched over us, in case trouble should occur. Pfft. What did they think would happen? That I would attempt to eat Ciel? True, that as a five months old baby, I was much larger than the tiny Ciel— and could probably squish and suffocate him or something. I could see Aunt Rachel eyeing us every few minutes from a few feet away.

I wriggled closer, rolling, twisting— anything to get me moving. I was finally close enough to Ciel that I could touch him, and I gave him a not so gummy smile as he stared at me sleepily. I had started teething and it ached like _hell._ I had started chewing my blankets, my thumb, my sleeves, anything— which sent a message to my parents to get me some teething toys. Luckily, there was no pain right now. Or else I really might have taken a chunk out of Ciel. I still couldn't talk properly, and all I could say were gurgling noises, which were quite embarrassing so I usually kept my mouth shut. Well, unless if one of my parents or Edward wanted to hear baby gibberish. Baby gibberish _is_ cute, just not when you were the one doing it.

"Se!" Welps, that's the closest thing I got buddy.

Ciel just blinks. I wave a pudgy hand at him. "Se!" His brows wrinkle and I grin. I wormed my finger through his tiny clenched fists, and he as I did before— reflexively grabbed my finger. Despite knowing that it was only a reflex, I squealed happily. Huh, must have been the baby in me that overrode all logic. On the other hand, Ciel was just adorable! This baby in front of me would grow up to be an equally adorable kid. A kid with pale features and large blue eyes. A kid with a brilliant smile. A kid who would...have his parents killed, who would be sold as a slave...who would be desperate enough to make a contract with a demon. A kid who would...take over the Phantomhive name, become the Queen's watch dog and do her dirty work. A kid who would only continue to suffer.

My chest felt startlingly tight as my thoughts became much more depressing. The twitching finger that was in Ciel's hands stilled, and I felt myself droop.

Right. This wasn't just fun and games. This was serious and to be honest, quite horrifying. Demons that could snap my neck quite easily, crazy grim reapers...it was like I had opened up Pandora's box. The supernatural was scary, but there was also the politics and corruptness in this world, this universe. Was I even in the anime, or the manga? Hell, I could barely remember what happened in Black Butler. As much as it had been an enjoyable read, I simply read way too many mangas and everything kind of blurred together. But the scariest part was not that, no— it was the fact that _I_ was _here_.

Here when Elizabeth was supposed to be.

Could I even protect Ciel like this? From what I remembered, Lizzy had been a _genius_ with swords. I could learn, but I doubt I could be a genius. As much as she irritated me with her temper tantrums and her pushy views on cuteness, I did respect her. I respected her effort, her sacrifices, and most of all, her love for Ciel. She was his constant, the never changing childish girl who needed protection. Someone perfect for the Ciel who wanted to grow up fast.

Could I love Ciel like that? Be a constant for him? I'm not sure.

I'm not Lizzy, and I don't think I can ever be. But I wanted to help Ciel, I wanted to help this boy— this child who was years younger than me. I want to protect him, just as Elizabeth had. And just like how she had her own unique way of helping, I will make my own. Instead of letting him protect me, I can protect him from the start. Make myself strong, dependable, so he does not have to bear his burdens alone. ...Would that change anything? Would his burdens lessen then? It's a different path then Lizzy's, but I can't even say if its a better one.

But logically, if I'm dependable, won't he depend on me? Make him trust me; trust that I can handle anything. Be what he needs, an older sister, a friend...and if he ever wants, a fiancé. I am the older one after all, and if this path drags me into the suffocating darkness of the Underworld, well— it's only right.

I am, how did she put it? The quote had struck a resounding chord inside me before.

Ah. _I am Elizabeth, Wife of the Queen's Watchdog_. I stared into Ciel's blue eyes with determination. _This is my Oath to you, Ciel._

In response, he promptly fell asleep.

* * *

"Bro-ther. C'mon Lizzy! You can do it! Bro-ther. Repeat after me!"

"Nu!" I gave him a smile, cocking my head to the side while pretending to not understand what he was saying just for the hell of it. He looked absolutely _devastated_. For a moment, I thought about giving in...but then I remembered what he had made me suffer through before, and decided it was just.

Edward had decided to give me a _two_ _hour long_ speech about why I should not get married to Ciel. I had been forced to just sit there and listen to a four year old lecture me. It was horrifying and so, so boring. I could not move, and any attempts at crawling failed miserably. The farthest I rolled was about two or three feet, but then Edward would drag me back. No one had bothered to rescue me, since they had thought it was cute and harmless.

I beg to differ!

Edward, my beloved 'older' brother was adorable, but even that was not enough for me to forgive him. I had no idea that a four year old could even talk so much! And his reasons were rubbish, complete rubbish.

True, it's been almost a year since then, and it is quite petty of me to remember after so long, but it's not like he let up. Edward still occasionally makes spiels about why I should not marry Ciel, though most of this occurred when I was too young to move away. After a week of it, I bottom shuffled the hell out of there. After another week of getting caught multiple times, I forced myself to learn and literally crawled away at a rapid speed.

...I still got caught and ended up being dragged away.

* * *

 _-November 11, 1876: Entry Sixty Seven of the Chronicles in my Head: Current Status: Getting Revenge-_

 _Dear, Journal (Because I really don't want to die via God's anger, and cursing the upper powers ten times is a limit I've already used up)_

 _I am now one year and whatever months old, and I can now say simple words. "Mama" was first, then "Papa". Edward has been trying to get me to call him 'brother' for a long time now. Unknown to others, "Ciel" had been my third word. I had only said it once, when we were on a play date_ — _and we had been alone. Truth to be told, I'm pretty sure it sounded more like "Se-al" but it's the thought that counts right? I'm sure Ciel wouldn't mind being called a floppy, swimming mammal._

 _Life has been good so far, and I've had many play dates with Ciel, who is almost one. Though they were more like 'laze dates' since we just rolled around and slept. Ciel seems to like me enough, though I'm not sure if he can even remember my face. My hair has grown longer, and I allowed the maids to put it up into two childish pigtails since they seemed to think it's adorable. (When I grow up, I'm definitely not putting them up into twin drills.)_

 _Oh! And something about corsets. Apparently I don't have to wear them till puberty, or when I'm around thirteen. Thank you for small miracles! I sincerely hope that I shall remain as flat as a board, if only to not wear the stupid thing._

* * *

Speaking of journals, I've decided to get a physical one. As soon as I can write properly of course. My motor skills are— to be honest, pathetic. Getting a journal is a risky choice however, especially since I can only write in English, with smattering bits of Chinese, but I knew so little of it that it won't even help. (Which makes it completely useless.)

But I believe it's worth it. Every day, I try to review the plot of Black Butler in my head in an attempt to not forget, but I've never been much of a mental person. I'm more of a visual one. Getting a journal can allow me to write all that I know, and jot down notes about the bits I may suddenly remember. It can also allow me to write my feelings and current happenings, since I'm pretty sure that keeping a mental journal in my head is unhealthy and kind of crazy.

Perhaps I can write the journal in some sort of code? That would surely help with privacy. I can also probably stash it under the bed or pillow, or whatever hiding space I have.

* * *

If baby Ciel had been cute, almost toddler Ciel was even cuter. "Ci-el!" I proceeded to glomp him as he twitched in surprise. I could almost see Edward's despairing face a few feet away. Revenge. Is. Sweet.

"Li!" He squeals back happily, chubby hands hugging me back clumsily.

Again, almost toddler Ciel was freakin adorable and I'm going to enjoy this as long as I can. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do about the Phantomhive Murder. A part of me protested even at the thought of interfering since it would be the start of everything. It was part of the _plot, part of Cannon._ But another part of me was horrified at the thought of them dying. I had grown quite close to Aunt Rachel, and even Vincen— I mean, Uncle Vincent rubbed off on me, despite not being there most of the time. But the most important part was that I would be damning Ciel to months of torture and a dark fate filled with burdens.

Almost toddler Ciel is full of smiles and sunshine, and to think that after the incident, he would be so closed off. I can remember the Ciel of Black Butler, cold and cynical. His smiles were minute and rare. But this isn't a manga, this wasn't a show anymore. This was real life, a part of _my_ real life. Ciel wasn't just the protagonist of a story anymore; he was my friend, and my so called fiancé. How could I let him suffer though it all?

I could only see the back of Ciel's head as he giggled, clutching me still. It didn't matter, what did Plot matter? This was my life, and it was only right that I decide my own choices, right?

My grip tightened on the now struggling boy as I shut my eyes tight.

 _"Ciel."_

* * *

I seemed to have conveniently forgotten that I have a horrendous memory. _Shit._

* * *

Ciel is twelve or thirteen when Cannon starts, and it had been about two years since he came back from the incident? That meant the fire could have been anywhere in the span of two years...Between age ten and eleven.

Guess I'll just have to go visit as much as I can.

.

"Mother."

Mother blinks, before looking up from the book she was currently reading. "What is it, Elizabeth?"

"I want to learn the sword."

A pause, as something seemed to swirl in her green eyes. _Eyes so much like mine..._

She looked down, considering for a moment before shutting her book. "Why so soon? I was planning for you to learn when you were six. You are barely five, Elizabeth. Impatience can be-"

"I am to marry Ciel. Ciel is a Phon-Phantomhive." I struggle to pronounce the word, because saying it incorrectly would only make me sound childish. "It is only right." I didn't dare to look up at her face, instead— I stared at the white tiles on the floor.

Silence.

I blink in confusion, before looking up— and the sight I saw made me do a double take. Had it been just my imagination? My mother who is so strong-willed would definitely have not...would definitely not look so...

Horrified. She had looked so completely terrified for one moment that it almost seemed unreal. But the moment is gone, and now she is back to her usual stiff and stern self. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in relief. I didn't think I could handle it if she somehow broke down...

My mother who is so strong and beautiful, firm and unrelenting...is terrified that I would grow up too soon. It's almost laughable.

"Alright."

I don't know if I was just imagining it, but that one single word seemed to be dauntingly loud, strained, and troubled. It was filled with another emotion that I could not grasp.

I don't think about it.

* * *

Days pass, months, years. A journal is bought, filled up with clumsy words and ink splattered pages. Training begins, continues— but never ends. Edward's desperate protests to wait- _she's too young, don't, she's only five. She's my little sister!_

 _._

The clanging of metal filled the air as two swords met each other in a flurry of hits.

I danced away from the tip of the sword before bringing my own to my opponent.

"Touche!"

I pant, breathing in deeply before yanking my headgear off. Genius, that's what they call me. But I knew I was nowhere near Cannon Elizabeth's level. She had ripped through the zombies so easily as if they were paper! I was cheating in a way; I had a stronger mindset then child Elizabeth, and why wouldn't I? I was much older than her. I pushed myself, and did not relent, because I needed to catch up, I needed to be as strong as Elizabeth. I forced myself to have no distractions, only paying attention to my family, Ciel, and my studies. Everything else was simply not important enough.

When I first started, I was utter crap, only practicing everyday brought me this far. Develop my instincts, practice my strikes, increase my speed and hone my skills.

That is what I, as Ciel's fiance should do.

 _._

The Phantomhive family gets a new dog. Days of play dates with Ciel and Madame Red, the manor filled with smiles and laughter. Lessons to be learnt, Penmanship, Manners, Dancing, Sewing and Social Etiquette. French, German, anything that could benefit me in the future. Dances and tea parties. Fake a smile, flatter and please, gather allies. Everything simply blurs together.

.

"Ta-dah!" I shove my master piece into Ciel's face, and he grumbles in reply before scooting back. He blinks as he finally sees the sheet properly. To my amusement, Ciel looks confused for a moment, brows twisting before he smiles brightly.

"That's a cute dog Lizzy!"

I twitch, feeling quite offended. "Ciel! It is not a dog!"

"Of course not, dear," Madame Red chimes in. _Of course! You tell him, Madame Red!_ "Ciel, that is clearly a cat."

I gaped.

"I-It's a rabbit!" I turn my master piece around so I can take another look. Long ears, thin whiskers and a pink nose. It was clearly a rabbit! I huff, feeling slightly wronged.

"Clearly, you two can't appreciate great art work." I said, biting my lip to stifle my laughter. I won't lie, I'm actually a terrible artist- but I definitely won't tell these two that I knew. Besides, I may be a horrible artist, but that picture was _clearly_ a rabbit!

"Aww, Lizzy! Don't be mad. I'm sorry." Ciel looked up at me with those big blue eyes of his and I resisted like the manly person I was—

"I was just joking, Ciel! Don't worry about it."

...or so I wanted too. I caved in like a wuss.

Ciel looked relieved; he was just too adorable sometimes!

"Oh, so that _was_ a dog?"

I threw my crumpled drawing at him in response.

 _Sometimes._

Emphasize on s _ometimes._

 _._

Ciel starts to learn to fence.

.

"Aunt Francis is a beautiful lady, but...if my wife was that strong...I think I would be frightened of her. I'm so glad it's you who'll be my bride Lizzy!"

I simply smile at that, remembering this part of the manga clearly."Don't be silly Ciel! I am strong!" I tilted my head, my hair draping down my shoulder. I was still wearing pigtails, but instead of wearing them high up; I often wore them low. I even flexed my arm to show my non-existent muscles. (They were of course hidden cleverly beneath the fluff and ruffles of my sleeves.)

Ciel flushes, "You're not strong Lizzy! I'm the man, so I should be the strong one."

PFFT. _Man_. Oh Ciel.

I lifted a brow. "Are you calling me weak, kiddo?"

He scowls. "Stop calling me that Lizzy! You're not even a year older than me."

"Of course, kiddo."

He tackled me.

"Woah! Hey— hahaa, that's hahaa- not fair." I stuttered out, giggling as he tickled me.

"You did it before! Hypocrite!"

"Un- hahaa, Unfair! I'm a _Lady_ , hahaa, Ciel!"

He finally relented and collapsed, tired and worn out even more than before.

"Hah- you shouldn't have done that Ciel. You were already tired."

A mumble.

"Also, what happened to being proper? This surely is not a proper way for a gentleman to behave."

"...Your vulgarity must have rubbed off on me."

Ouch, Ciel. Way to compliment a lady.

I raised a hand, and placed it on the back of his head. I could hear his rough breathing on my neck, slowly calming down.

"Lizzy?"

"Hm?" I stroked his hair, his sweaty locks tangling in my fingers.

"You don't need to be strong. I'll protect you."

I paused in my stroking, glad that Ciel couldn't see my face right now. I'm sure I must have looked like such an idiot, mouth open and eyes wide. Touched. I was so, so touched, and my hand stiffened on his head. Ciel, who was younger than me, smaller than me, weaker than me...wanted to protect me? I lifted my other hand and wrapped both arms around his head in a hug.

"It doesn't matter. If I was that strong, I will protect you." I closed my eyes and continued stroking his head. "You may be my future husband, but I am your _wife_. Depend on me if you're in trouble. Aren't I your best friend after all?"

 _Cousin, sister, friend, guide, fiancé, wife._

Ciel simply laughs. "You always say that Lizzy! And of course you're my best friend. But you don't have to worry, I'll protect you."

 _I wonder why I feel like crying?_

.

Madame Red gets her nick name, her husband, and her soon to be born child.

.

"Auntie An!"

Madame Red blinks before frowning. "Now what did I say about calling me Aunt, Lizzy?"

I simply laugh. "To not to?"

"Exactly!"

I laugh again, but I sober up quickly. Madame Red seems to notice, as she suddenly turns serious. "What's wrong, Lizzy?"

"Don't."

"Don't?"

I swallow roughly. "Don't ride any carriages."

"What do you mean?"

"I, I just have a bad feeling Auntie. Just promise me not too? Please? Not until your baby is born."

Her brows furrow in obvious confusion. "And why not, Lizzy?"

"I don't want you to lose your baby," I cut her off before she could say anything in reply. "You never know and one can never be too careful. Just... humor me?"

I didn't want her to lose her child. I didn't want her to lose her husband. I didn't want her to die.

Ciel barely had any relatives left after, and to lose her too? Even in Cannon, Ciel had a soft spot for her. He didn't need to lose any more people, he needed all the love he could get. She must have seen the desperation in my eyes as she gave in with an exasperated sigh. "All right, Lizzy. I'll humor you. But you must make sure to visit me! Being stuck in the house could be such a bore!"

I grin weakly. "Of course, Auntie An!"

I'm not sure if this will even help, perhaps it was fated to be that way. Perhaps she'll give up and think I was silly and go out anyways. But I could try; I could sure as hell try to help.

"Thank you." _Thank you for listening, for accepting, for trusting. Thank you._

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock. The time is ticking and running out. Days, months, and years just slipping away.

 _It's time._

* * *

 **Review on your way out? Will post a bonus part in Ciel's POV next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Urk, so I did all the research I can, but not everything may be accurate, even though I tried to make it as accurate as possible. Apparently Ciel was gone for a month (in Lizzy's ver.), which confuses me seeing as how Madame Red said it took a few months for him to get back. I'm not too sure really, so I went with two and a half months, almost three months. The timeline seems so messed up hah. Hope that's okay :o

If the last chapter was depressing and angsty, this chapter is like- an angst-fest or something, seriously. Sorry about the dark thoughts- I think the quote below fully describes it. Pitch-dark feelings, a pitch-dark chapter *coughs*.

Oh! I made a tumblr hahaa, so if anyone's interested, feel free to visit it. It's at Mitskicchi. Regular tumblr link thingy. Still not used to it, I used to have another tumblr account but I died on it hahaa..orz. I'll be posting art, extras and etc. Feel free to drop by and uh..I dunno, ask questions.

On the other hand, thank you very much for the support! 17 reviews, 31 favorites and 37 follows wowwie. Thank you so much!

 **Edit: 7/17/17 Thanks to QueenJellyKins for her help!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Dark Night  
** _The Child, Falling and Slipping_

 _"Wearing my pitch-black clothes, with my pitch-black feelings. One month of a pitch-black winter had passed when suddenly, Ciel came back along with a pitch-black butler."-Elizabeth_

* * *

I...failed.

The burning, flaming manor in front of me was proof of that. My eyes were wide as I looked at the massive fire. Because...what? _Nonononono, whywhywhy, this- this can't be happening! This must be another nightmare. No!_ "Ciel!" I jumped out of the carriage, not bothering to listen to Paula's desperate protests. The manor seemed to glow in the dark, like some sort of mocking beacon in the black night and I _loathed_ it. The fire was enormous and vivid, sparks dancing wildly as fiery tendrils wrapped around the balconies. It greedily consumed the once pristine mansion as it ate away at the wood and greenery. Smoke filled the air, floating up like dark twisting snakes, and I coughed as I accidentally inhaled some.

I blink away the reflexive tears, feeling the scorching heat wrap around me. "Aunt Rachel! Uncle Vincent!"

"My lady! You mustn't!" I could hear Paula running towards me, but I paid her no mind. Instead, I continued to stare at the burning manor in horror, walking closer and closer. A giant gust of wind sent ashes splattering over me, making me fall onto my bottom. I'm sure I must have looked like a mess right now, hands and dress full of soot and Mother would've scolded me for being improper. But... _Ciel was still in there!_ I scrambled back up, before rushing toward the manor.

He had to still be in there!

A hand grabbed my arm and I whirled around, eyes flashing. It was Paula.

"Let me go this instance, Paula! Ciel is still in there! Ciel!"

She shook her head, eyes teary. "No milady, I do not think Lord Ciel survived."

But he is! I wanted to yell, to scream and cry. He is still alive. But...who would believe me? I looked at the blazing mansion desperately. He won't die. He'll live. He'll be fine. I repeated the words in my head like a mantra. Cannon Ciel made it, and so will he.

I could distantly hear the sounds of another carriage pulling up, as a scream filled the smoky air. "Sister! Brother!"

That voice was-! I quickly turned around to see a very pregnant Madame Red crying out. Her cries were filled with desperation and horror, and I faintly wondered if I had sounded anything like that. But common sense over rode my depression and I ran to her. "Auntie An!"

"L-Lizzy?"

"Get back in the carriage."

"But...But..." She seemed to still be in shock, brows twisted in confusion, as if she couldn't exactly grasp what was going on.

"Auntie. You're pregnant, go back into the carriage— the smoke is not good for you. Calm down. It would not be good for the baby." My voice was clinical and oddly detached, and I can't help but wonder if I was in shock too. Seeing that she wasn't moving, I called for Paula and the footman to escort her back into the carriage.

"Bring her back please. Make sure to be extra careful."

The old man seemed to hesitate for a moment before agreeing. "Yes, milady. I will keep her safe."

I nodded. "See that you do."

The carriage left with a clatter of wheels and the trotting of the horses as I continued to stare at the burning manor.

"Milady," Paula started hesitantly. "We must go back and deliver the news."

I nodded, following her to the carriage.

I felt awfully numb.

 _Failure._

* * *

 _The skidding of low-heeled shoes against the smooth floor, droplets of water flying everywhere. Quick, precise movements_ — _smooth and experienced. Bright, golden hair dancing in the air, a pale hand gripping the handle of a sword tightly. Quick feet, twirling frills and skirts._

 _A stab, a swing, a thrust. Spurts of crimson liquid, the dull thump and slight splashes of rotted bodies._

 _Piercing green eyes, hard and determined_ —

I woke up.

My hair was tangled and full of sweat, my hands shaking slightly as I tried to brush my hair away from my face. Sticky. Sweaty and icky.

I felt like utter crap.

* * *

- _December 22, 1885: Entry One Thousand and Seventy Two of the Chronicles in my Head: Current Status: Feels like crap and too lazy to write-_

 _Dear, Journal_

 _It's been a week since the funeral, and I think I'm still in shock. Because saving them had been my main goal, and I had failed so damn **hard**. Aunt Rachel's and Uncle Vincent's bodies were recovered, horribly burnt_ — _but still found. They could not find a body for Ciel, which reassured me that it was going Cannon, and that he was still alive. Not that it's any better, seeing what he'll have to suffer through._

 _Recently, I've been having this same dream everyday, though to me_ — _it was more like a recurring nightmare. Cannon Lizzy had been strong, so, so strong. It made me feel so weak and sometimes, I just felt like breaking under the pressure. And though it's stupid, I can't help but wonder if I can live up to her. (Some sort of inferiority complex?)_

 _I know that Cannon Lizzy was oblivious to the Plot, and that knowing the future, the story was putting a huge amount of stress on myself. Yet Cannon Lizzy had done fine, she didn't know the future yet she did just fine. Yet I...I needed the knowledge of the future, I needed my adult mind. I know I'm not some sort of superman, but it frustrated me so much that I couldn't even help! I had let my guard down._

 _I know that I don't have to change anything, and I'm not kind enough to care about every single passing character who had a tragic backstory and a life full of crap. I know that. But knowing the future? The plot? Knowing what's going to happen before it happens right in front of my eyes?_

 _That's a different story altogether. It was like a blaring red sign that hung over each character, reminding me what's going to happen to them. If I was just some random person far away from the Black Butler story line, I probably wouldn't have cared as much. It would just be a distant reminder, hell- I probably wouldn't have even noticed where I was at. But here? I was smack dabbed in the middle of the plot, as a side character- but still, I was just just_ there _._ _And how could I ignore it when I was right in front of it? Besides, that, my guilty conscience was screaming at me to do something._

 _Damn it, why couldn't I have been reborn in something more non-violent and peaceful? Something more realistic? Like in some sort of sports anime or something._

* * *

I kicked off the blankets, and jumped off the bed. As I headed to the bathroom to take a bath, I caught my reflection in the mirror, and it made me flinch back.

I still couldn't get used to it. Looking like this that is.

Pale skin, clear and unblemished. Bright green eyes and equally bright hair. I looked so colorful compared to my past life. My hair had grown, and my bed hair was apparent in the mess of tangles. Childish pigtails were no longer worn as often, high or low. Instead, I changed hairstyles based on my moods. From all kinds of fancy braids to pony tails, and only when I was particularly nostalgic, pigtails. I did my hair myself before, though it was rather clumsily looking since I wasn't used to doing it on myself. (I had been mostly doing it for someone else before, namely— my sister.)

Now Paula does it for me, and she does it beautifully.

I tug at a strand of my hair as I stared into the mirror. My reflection did the same. Foreign features on a foreign face stared back, green eyes sharp.

Perhaps it's easier this way for me. I look nothing like the me before. I'm Elizabeth now, British and a lady.

Perhaps it is. But I don't think I can ever get used to it.

* * *

"Auntie An."

Madame Red, who was actually quite close to her due date, looked at me curiously. She looks curious, but I know that she is tired and still grieving, the bags underneath her eyes are proof of that. She was throwing herself into her work. I feel a pang of guilt hit me, knowing that I was going to burden her even more. "What is it Lizzy?" As you can see, she's pretty much given up on getting me to call her anything else. Victory! But oddly, that 'victory' tasted rather bitter in my mouth. It was so childish and I felt so _stupid_ for even feeling happy about it before.

"I wish to learn the basics of medicine. Will you teach me, Auntie?"

She freezes for a moment, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights -and I would have felt proud for shocking her so much if it was not about this topic— before she gazes at me with an indescribable look on her face. I instantly felt a flash of déjà vu of when I was five and asking to learn the sword. It's almost funny how the look on her face is similar to Mother's.

She opens her mouth as if to say something, but shuts it later without uttering a single word. She swallows and her face is pained.

"Yes."

* * *

And so, days pass, weeks and months. Somehow, it does not go by quickly, time seems to stop at a slow crawl.

.

Madame Red gives birth.

It's a stillborn.

Her cries and screams of anguish echoes in my ears painfully and I despaired.

It felt like fate was telling me that I could not change a single thing, that this was final. It was like a slap in the face from Cannon. But...her husband was still alive. I _clung_ onto that little bit of hope desperately, that was a change, wasn't it?

.

For two days, Madame Red didn't eat, didn't talk, didn't sleep and simply locked herself away up in her room. Baron Burnett, who was also despairing as he had desired a child very badly as well, didn't know what to do. As much as he had wanted the child, he couldn't bear seeing his wife so distressed and broken.

At least that's what I saw as I looked up at his pale and exhausted face.

"Hello, Baron Burnett, would you allow me to visit her?"

"Hello, Elizabeth...I do not think that your aunt is fit for company right now. Losing our child hit her quite hard." He gives me a strained smile, looking quite weary.

"...Don't worry. She's my aunt, she'll _always_ be fit for my company, no matter if she's happy or sad." And that was the truth. I knew it wasn't my fault that she had given birth to a stillborn, but a _stupid_ part of me felt responsible. Would it have been better if she had just lost her baby in the carriage accident? Would she have felt a little better then? Did being _so close_ to having a child yet losing that child right when he was born hurt more? ...Most likely. _I don't even know anymore._ "Will you allow me to speak with her? Perhaps I can help."

He hesitates, before abiding to my selfish request with a small smile. "Alright, follow me then. I do believe that a visit might cheer her up."

"Thank you."

.

"Aunt An."

No response.

Madame Red was simply just sitting there in her bed, unmoving as she stared outside the window blankly. The hollow expression on her face made my heart hurt more than anything else. "Do you think that Aunt Rachel would've wanted this?"

 _That_ seemed to have caught her attention as she slowly turned her head towards me, her movement almost woodenly. I walked closer, so that I was standing right in front of her, at the side of the bed.

"That you would act so broken and dead even though you're not? Yes, losing a baby is hard- but what are you doing to yourself? You're a doctor! You should know that one must eat after giving birth! You should know that you have to take care of yourself... " I trailed off, throat thick with emotion.

No response.

I twitched, feeling a sudden rush of anger. "It's just a baby! You can always have another one!"

The hand came so fast that I wasn't sure I would've dodged it even if I had tried.

My head snapped back, the slap sending me hurtling to the floor onto my bottom. My cheek stung and I could taste the coppery taste of blood in my mouth. My hand absently drifted to my stinging cheek. She was fuming now, red eyes flashing dangerously as her chest heaved angrily.

Good. Anger I could deal with, but emptiness? Hollowness? Blank faces and numb emotions? I wouldn't touch that with a fifty foot pole.

"He was my baby! _Mine_! How could God take him away like that? First my sister, brother and nephew. Now my son? What else will be taken away from me?! What do you know Elizabeth?!"

"You are not the only one mourning, Auntie." My voice was quiet, but it sounded hauntingly loud in the quiet room. "The baby was not only yours, the Baron himself had been happily anticipating the arrival of his- _your_ , child!"

She flinched back as if struck, hands tightening on the duvet cover.

"Would he have wanted this? Your child. Would he have wanted his mother to break down? To kill herself like this? Mourn, and then pass on. You can always remember him- _but do not stay in the past_! It's not as if you can never have children again! Stop being selfish Auntie! Instead of torturing yourself, comfort your husband! He has been mourning as well, yet he tries his best to cheer _you_ -his wife- up. Instead of wasting away, comfort and seek comfort from your husband instead! Like a married couple should have done!"

Madame Red, no- Aunt An bites her lip, pale from the lack of her usual red lipstick, as her eyes began to tear up. The hands that had been desperately clutching at the duvet covered her face now instead as she cried, shoulders shaking. "...L-lizzy."

I got up from my position on the floor and walked up (climbing up the bed) to her trembling figure and wrapped my arms around her. "Don't stay in the past, Auntie. I can't bear it if I were to lose you too."

She quieted for a moment before crying even _louder_ as the hands that covered her face suddenly wrapped around my back. "Lizzy! My son! I had wanted to do so much with him, I had...wanted to spoil him rotten, I had- had wanted to name him Alastair! Now all of it's gone! It's so unfair!"

I tried to stay still even as she cried on my shoulder, even as her grip tightened to the point that it had started to hurt. "Then do that, Auntie. Name him Alastair, and visit him (his grave). Give him your love, and spoil him rotten with flowers and toys. Sometimes...life just isn't fair."

She didn't reply, but simply continued to cry quietly on my shoulder.

I shut my eyes and simply relished the feeling of her arms around me as she let loose her feelings. I opened my mouth and sang quietly, rocking slightly as I tried to send her off to sleep.

 _"...It's been a long day, without you my friend._

 _And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..._

 _We've come a long way, from where we began._

 _Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again._

 _When I see you again."_

She cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

I didn't see her after that, but I had heard that she was feeling much better. Hell, Baron Burnett had even thanked me for some reason. Happy that the crisis had been averted, I started going through the basic medical texts that Auntie had given me before, simply trying to understand but struggling.

My family (well, Mother protested a bit at first, but she relented after I pleaded with her) didn't seem to mind me learning about medicine, though they did seem to worry about me not getting enough rest. They seemed to think that this sudden passion in learning stemmed from Ciel's supposed death. I suppose it kind of did, but I had wanted to learn it mostly for myself. I wanted to learn the basics at least, in case anything happened and someone needed help (even if it was basic help, help was still help). It _was_ mostly for Ciel though, in case he was injured or his asthma acted up.

Even if I did know the basic plot, anything could change. I wanted to be ready for that 'anything'.

.

Madame Red showed up two days later, a bright smile on her red lips as she begins to twirl me around.

"Ahh, there you are Lizzy! My favorite niece!" I wondered if I should snark something back (most likely about myself being her only niece, and not even a blood related one at that), but then I remembered that Madame Red was still sort of in depression, (probably) no matter how strong her grip was as she spun me around. I fell limp in her grasp, trying not to throw up all over her.

"A-Aunt An." I choke out, begging for mercy.

"Now, now dear! What did I say about calling me Aunt An?"

...I think I died a little inside. My 'victory' was not a victory at all! Instead, it had been some sort of truce that was now clearly over. WHY.

"P-please stop, I think I'm about to hurl."

"Oops! My bad." She let me down, and I felt my head spin. "A-Aunt An, what are you doing here?"

She pouts before beaming at me. "Why, I'm here to teach you about medicine! You did ask me for help did you not?"

I perked up right away. "Really? You will help? Because if I have to read another tiny print convoluted text, I think I will drown them in the toilet."

She grins at me, "Of course, I promised after all."

I beam at her, hurriedly dragging her into my room, where I had stored said texts.

 _I'm glad that she's back._

* * *

"Edward!" I smiled brightly, tackling my older brother as Mother admonishes me for being improper.

"Lizzy!" He looks a bit surprised before he is smiling fondly as he hugs me fiercely. I felt a twinge of guilt for not playing with him as much due to my busy schedule as well as _his_ busy schedule. Now fifteen, he's been stacked with more responsibilities, and I rarely saw him as I was a distraction. His small break had started a few weeks ago, and I _still_ hadn't spent much time with him. For that part, I have no excuses.

"Sorry for not spending much time with you, Brother. I'm buried under my studies."

He gives me a small smile, green eyes kind and understanding. Did I mention how much I _love_ my brother? He may not be adorable anymore as he is now grown, but I still adore him. Brave, honorable and sweet. A bit overprotective but that itself was kind of endearing. "It's alright Lizzy, just don't push yourself too hard. My adorable sister is quite impressive, wanting to learn medicine though."

I beam at him, "It's for emergency purposes, you never know after all..." My voice trailed off at the end, eyes dulling a bit.

He glances at my gloved hands, full of hidden calluses and bruises and his hold on me tightens. "Lizzy, you don't have to do this you know. Just relax and play around like a normal girl."

I smile bitterly, face hidden in his chest. How could I? I'm not a _normal_ girl after all.

Sometimes, it still surprises me how overprotective Edward is. You would think that he would worry less when I'm stronger (mentally) and more mature than Cannon Lizzy, instead— to my utmost confusion— he worries _more_. It makes no sense, and I still don't understand. I was clearly able to take care of myself and not a child, yet he frets like a mother hen.

"Don't worry, Brother. I'll be fine." _I have to be._

He doesn't respond, but something tells me that he doesn't believe me for a second.

 _Sometimes, I don't think I do either._

* * *

Time seems to stop it's slow-movements as it starts turning again, _faster and faster_ until one day-

 _...Ciel returns._

* * *

 **Childhood POV Extra**

* * *

He's a child, not _stupid_.

He knows that Lizzy is different from other children, he can _see_ how her green eyes spoke of promises to not fail— promises to _protect._ He's a child, but he's not stupid, and he certainly is not _blind_.

Lizzy starts wearing white gloves when she's almost five and he's still four, wearing gloves when other little girls do not. He's four, but he's still a _Phantomhive_. He's more observant, more calculative and certainly more manipulative then other children. He sees her flinches of pain when he grabs her hand too hard, he can see her tiredness and drooped shoulders— and one day (without her knowledge), he sees the blisters on her hands, the bruises on her arms. He doesn't know the cause until later ( _fencing, fencing when she was not even five and God, his heart hurts for some reason)._

Lizzy is unladylike, but she is graceful in the way she walks, in the way she moves. _Movements of a_ _predator,_ his brain insists.

But Lizzy is Ciel's fiance, and Lizzy should not have to train and hurt for him. Isn't she his wife after all? And so he plans, he plans to grow stronger— to convince her that he can protect them both.

 _"Aunt Francis is a beautiful lady, but...if my wife was that strong...I think I would be frightened of her. I'm so glad it's you who'll be my bride Lizzy!"_

He fails to his frustration, but somehow his heart feels all warm inside so he suppose's it's fine anyways. _The words_ _'I will protect you' rings in his ears, and he can't help but feel proud and maybe a bit giddy. Because Lizzy is the best, and_ he _always did like having the best._

Lizzy was _his_ cousin, _his_ best friend, _his_ fiance. Lizzy was the Queen on _his_ chessboard, _his_ warrior, _his_ wife.

 _Lizzy was his._

* * *

 **Madame Red POV Extra**

* * *

She felt empty.

Completely empty. She had felt despair, anger, and anguish. Now she felt nothing. She felt numb.

"Do you think that Aunt Rachel would've wanted this?"

 _Sister? No...but she's gone, so what does it matter?_

"That you would act so broken and dead even though you're not? Yes, losing a baby is hard- but what are you doing to yourself? You're a doctor! You should know that one must eat after giving birth! You should know that you have to take care of yourself... "

 _I don't care. It doesn't matter. Go away._

"It's just a baby! You can always have another one!"

Rage. Pure, unadulterated rage. How _dare_ you. _How dare you say that!_ _hE wAs MiNe. Mine to keep, mine to love! He was MiNe yet he was TaKeN aWaY fRoM mE!_

She didn't even think as she lashed out, anger coursing in her veins because- _shedidn'tunderstand!_ How dare she talk when she didn't even know how it felt! It had felt as if she had _lost_ a part of herself. A part she could never get back. How could she ever understand?! She didn't even realize she screaming until Elizabeth had snapped back.

"You are not the only one mourning, Auntie. The baby was not only yours, the Baron himself had been happily anticipating the arrival of his- _your_ , child!"

She flinched, because- _her husband_! She had forgotten about her husband who she didn't love but who had loved her back anyways. The husband who had treated her gently and lovingly. The husband who had been so eagerly and impatiently waiting for their child. The husband who must have felt absolutely _devastated_.

"Would he have wanted this? Your child. Would he have wanted his mother to break down? To kill herself like this? Mourn, and then pass on. You can always remember him- _but do not stay in the past_! It's not as if you can never have children again! Stop being selfish Auntie! Instead of torturing yourself, comfort your husband! He has been mourning as well, yet he tries his best to cheer _you_ -his wife- up. Instead of wasting away, comfort and seek comfort from your husband instead! Like a married couple should have done!"

 _Her_ husband who had given her strained smiles even though he clearly looked like he would rather cry. Her husband who had tried to get her to eat, tried to get her to rest, who had tried to hold her and comfort her. _Her husband!_

She broke down.

"L-lizzy."

She wanted to apologize, to beg for forgiveness because she had _hit_ her. She had just slapped her beloved niece who had only been trying to help, the niece who had just lost her childhood friend and fiance.

She felt gentle arms wrap around her and she couldn't help but cry even more as she spilled all her regrets.

 _I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

 _._

 _"...It's been a long day, without you my friend._

 _And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..._

 _We've come a long way, from where we began._

 _Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again._

 _When I see you again."_

Angelina didn't know where the song came from, as she had never heard of it in her life before. She didn't know and she didn't care. Elizabeth's voice was quiet, and her voice was dry from all the shouting she had done. She wavered, she cracked. But for some reason... _Angelina didn't think she_ _had heard anything more beautiful._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hahaa, um. Yeah. I cheated the length with the Extras and I'm sorry? The extra's were _very_ fun to write, and I originally wasn't going to have a Madame Red Extra but it somehow popped up and wouldn't leave me alone? Sorry for the somewhat cliff hanger, I just thought it would be an appropriate stopping point. And for Ciel's Extra, I don't think that little Ciel was all that innocent to be honest. In a span of one to a few months (even if his whole life suddenly changed), he changed completely. I think that little Ciel always did have the sharp wit and ability to manipulative in him, he just didn't show it outwardly since he doesn't need to. Or at least that's my opinion. I was planning to write about Ciel in his period of captivity, but I decided to write it later.

Any other POV's you guys wanna see?

Edit: Holy, forgot to credit the song. Song is: See you again by Whiz and Charlie Puth

 **Review on your way out! Thank you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I don't really like how this turned out, so I might go back to fix it. (Not sure what else I can fix though) And oh gosh, thank you guys so much for the 40 reviews, just wao. Thanks for the 68 favorites and the 75 favorites! I feel like crying in all honest THANK YOU SO MUCH! And wao, this is so late. Im really sorry!

Once more, feel free to point out any mistakes. Don't know much about the British culture, so there might be mistakes.

* * *

 **Chapter 4: After Night  
** _The Girl, Returns and Welcomes_

" _He finally returned to the mansion, but he wasn't able to laugh anymore. I love Ciel. I love Ciel's smile. Why is it as though we always seem to end up going in circles? How can I bring back his smile?_ " -Elizabeth

* * *

Ciel was _back_ , and despite all the clear changes that I had spotted with my peripheral vision, all I could concentrate on was the fact _that Ciel was finally back_.

Seeing him again brought me a whole flood of mixed emotions that I had previously buried under. I was happy that he was back, relieved that he was more or less safe, and _absolutely terrified_ of his reaction. Because I had promised to him that I would protect him, yet where was I when he needed me? My Oath and words meant absolutely nothing, they were now just empty promises. But...

Ciel will always be Ciel no matter what, even if he is angry at the world- even if he sinks into the darkness. It doesn't change my Oath to him, because really, what else am I here for? Despite his changes, his foundation, the base of himself remains the same.

All the scripts and words I had planned to say for his return all seemed to slip away from me, leaving me at a blank. What do I do? What could I say? Do I comfort him? Do I pretend that he never disappeared? I didn't know what to say, I was never really good at words and so we simply stared at each other. In such a situation where I didn't know what to do, I could only think that I had _failed_ him. I wanted to apologize, but what I wanted the most was to make sure that he was actually _there_.

I surprised even myself when I impulsively rushed forward to give him a hug. My hands wrapped around him and I almost flinched at how _thin_ he felt. He had been scrawny before, and now he was even more so. A thin waist, narrow shoulders and sticks for arms.

 _"...Ciel."_ My voice was hoarse, and I didn't even realize that I had started crying until something wet fell on the sleeves of my dress. "I-I'm sorry Ciel, I _failed_ , I didn't," I gasped, trying to stop the on going tears. "I didn't protect you and I," my voice wobbled and the blurring of my eye sight got so worse that I could barely make out anything. And damn it, I hated crying. Crying was just a waste of body fluids, crying made me feel like a child, it made me feel vulnerable, exposed and so, so tired. I'm pretty sure that in these last few months alone, I cried more then my first ten years combined.

"I was too late." Too late even though I promised, too late to save them and you, _pleasedon'thateme I don't know what to do._

"Elizabeth." His voice caught my attention, and I could feel his hands ghosting on my back before he settled them on the sides of my dress, his hand clutching the fabric. I blink away the drying tears, and a sudden realization hit me. My heart jerked a bit as I realized that he didn't want to touch me. The loose hold on my dress was proof of that. I suppose a small part of me still couldn't help but remember the old Ciel, the one who used to hug me tightly with a bright smile. Hell, he had even initiated half of those hugs himself.

But of course he wouldn't want skin contact! He had suffered through so much, after all that had happened to him, I'm actually surprised that he didn't slap me away. I hurriedly loosened my tight hold on him so that I was only lightly touching me.

His tensed body seemed to relax at that and I felt relieved that I wasn't making him uncomfortable.

"It was never your responsibility to begin with."

I twitched, "But I-!" But I know the future, I wanted to say. I saw it coming yet I did nothing! I wanted to add. But all that came out from my mouth was a bitter silence. I swallowed, feeling the tightness in my chest grow. "I won't fail you again, Ciel." I don't know if I was just saying it to reassure Ciel, or if it was...to reassure myself.

He paused for a moment before answering. "You have never failed me in the first place, Elizabeth."

It's a curious thing, Ciel always did have a way to make me want to cry. In this, he has never changed.

I don't think I have ever been more grateful.

.

"Ciel."

"Mhn?"

"...Do you want me to stay with you?"

The hands on my dress tightened for a moment before they relaxed, letting go completely as his hands fell to his sides once more. "...That would not be proper."

I snorted quietly. "I thought my vulgarity rubbed off on you?"

"I can never be as vulgar as you." Was his snarky reply.

Again, ouch Ciel.

I can't help but smile anyways. I started to bury my face into his neck but he flinched away, and I aborted the movement quickly mid-way. I grimaced at my mistake.

"Let me stay with you?"

Silence.

"I want to stay with you. It's for me as much as for you, Ciel. I'm quite sure mother wouldn't mind if I stayed with you for a couple days. I...want to make sure that you're really here, that you won't disappear again." Not a lie, but not the complete truth either. I wanted to see if he was okay, to comfort him if he needed me. To be some sort of constant for him. I didn't want him to face through all the sudden changes by himself, Ciel should at least have something that remained the same. I knew that he would reject my offer if he thought I was pitying him, so I made sure to emphasize that I was the one who needed him. He hated pity, and I refused to look down at him like that.

The hands that wrapped around my waist surprised me, but the head on my shoulder surprised me even more. He squeezed me tightly, breathing in deeply before loosening his hold.

"If you must."

Beneath those three words, all I could hear was a thankful 'okay'.

I cried again.

 _Welcome back, Ciel._

* * *

The hug was actually pretty long, and only halfway through did I notice the black clad butler on the side. The demon blinked before giving me a wink.

I somehow managed to not choke because of that, surprisingly.

I had forgotten about Sebastian.

.

Fuck my life.

* * *

-March _2, 1886: Entry One Thousand and Ninety Three of the Chronicles in my Head: Current Status: Too busy to write-_

 _Dear, Journal_

 _Ciel is finally back! And I have to admit, crying and slobbering over his shoulder was not my best idea. And well, that's about it really. Oh! And because I don't think I've said it before: Cannon can go fuck itself._

* * *

I left afterwards, to go home to pack some necessities for my stay while Ciel went to go get Aunt An. Surprisingly, Mother accepted with little protest, she had simply looked at me with understanding before nodding. Did I ever mentioned how much I love her? Despite being stern and proper, she readily agreed when it _really_ mattered.

So now I was in front of the Phantomhive Manor, with all it's glory restored. Despite already knowing that Sebastian was a demon, his ability to do the most impossible things still shocked me. Reading and seeing are two completely different things after all. To fix a totally charred and burnt mansion in the matter of minutes. When Ciel had disappeared, I visited the Phantomhive Manor once every week, so I can still remember clearly how bad the mansion looked before. _The smell of smoke and the smears of ashes, burnt black walls and an empty lot. The air is tight and thick and choking-_

I quickly cut off that thought, fingering my neck nervously.

"Thank you." The footmen nodded with a smile. "Of course, milady. Your bags?"

I shook my head. "No, it is fine. I can carry it by myself. Have a safe trip back."

The older man blinked, before protesting, "No, milady- I must-"

"No, it's perfectly fine. I insist, I'm right in front of the door anyway. I am not _that_ weak."

He scratched his head before reluctantly agreeing and then headed back to the carriage to prepare to leave.

I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again.

My hand tightened around the handle of my bags before I rose my fist hesitantly to knock at the door.

What greeted me was a tall figure with pale skin and dark red eyes. A small smile curved on his lips as he gracefully placed a hand on his chest and bowed with flourish.

"Welcome, Milady."

* * *

Sebastian, the famous (or infamous) demon butler was, well- awfully good-looking as depicted in the manga and anime. However, he seemed almost otherworldly beautiful when I saw him in real life. There was just an air to him that screamed that he was too...perfect. It was just not natural, he reminded me of many different myths, of creatures that took on attractive forms to lure in their prey. Like a Vampire or Siren or something. He was definitely alluring and bewitching, though not exactly easy on the eyes as he _sparkled brightly._ It was irritating on the eyes.

He began to escort me to the dining room, where Ciel was currently dining in, and tried to entertain me with polite conversation. We soon reached the dining room, and it made me feel nostalgic as it looked exactly the same as before. Before it was burnt and black and _cold_. The long table was filled with all kinds of dishes, all fancy and sparkling. _Spiny Lobster Saute, Roast Turkey, Sticky Toffee Pudding and Fairy Cakes_. It seemed to me that Ciel had not started eating yet as everything looked untouched.

"-Lady Elizabeth, young master has talked about you quite a lot."

Pfft. As if. I highly doubted that Ciel would tell anyone -demon or not- anything about anyone. Maybe in the past, but now? Yeah, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

I smiled brightly in response anyways. "I know Ciel has not, so there is no need to lie for him."

He looked completely blindsided for a moment before his shiny smile was back in place. "Oh, but he has milady. He has indeed told me that he has missed you very much." The look on Ciel's face as I took a seat told me otherwise.

"Mhn, if you insist. So, your name is Sebastian? Ciel had a dog with that exact name! It was, in fact, _perfect_ for him. I think that name also suits you quite perfectly." _Ciel's dog_. Cue beams of sunshine and flowers. I was pretty sure that if I hadn't sounded so ditzy and innocent, I would have been absolutely _obliterated_ by the demon butler. The sound of Ciel's poorly concealed snort of amusement only made my grin brighter.

"Why thank you milady. This butler does not deserve such...lovely compliments." He finished with a strained smile.

I know I shouldn't antagonize him (probably gonna die a slow and painful death if this goes on)- but it was just way too funny! This wasn't the butler who didn't allow anything to faze him yet. This was the impatient demon who had just became a butler.

I tried not to laugh. "Of course, Sebastian." I then turned to Ciel with a small smile. "Did you wait for me, Ciel? You shouldn't have. You must be quite hungry after all."

Ciel merely rose his head in a dignified manner, "I assure you, I am not so impatient that I could not wait."

"But you-" _were always impatient._ I stop before I could finish the sentence, catching myself in time. It would not be good to compare the past and present versions of Ciel afterall. I highly doubt he would take it well.

The boy rose a brow. "But what, Elizabeth?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing, shall we start eating? The food looks delectable, Sebastian."

"It is only fitting for a butler of an Earl, milady. I shall serve you anything you like."

Ciel takes a small bite before promptly almost spitting it out again. Okay, I have to admit I was being a bit too high-strung- I panicked and practically shoved a glass of water in his face, even spilling some of it when it sloshed around. "Ciel! Are you alright?"

Sebastian merely watched as Ciel chugged down the water, and I was very tempted to just kick him in the shins for being an uncaring ass.

"It's oily, spicy...and salty."

I blink, quickly stabbing a piece of the roast turkey and shoving it into my mouth. It was...a bit too flavorful, but not too bad. So then, why-?

Oh! Damn it! People who have not been eating properly, who have been starved- often cannot stomach large quantities of rich foods. How could I have forgotten? But Ciel had only taken one bite, his digestive system must have been really terrible for his body to reject the food after a single bite. It was foolish of me to believe that Ciel had actually been fed properly. I grit my teeth angrily, what use is learning medicine if I can't remember to apply my knowledge?

I stood up, the legs of my chair screeching as it slid back.

"Elizabeth?!"

I smile, beginning to head out. "Don't worry, Ciel! I just need to borrow the kitchen for a moment!"

"Wait-"

I ran out of the room before he could finish.

* * *

I blink at the rows of food lined up in the refrigerator curiously. Oddly enough, it was stocked up to the brim. I pick up an apple and twirled it around. Was this demon-made? Or was this real, store brought food? My brows scrunch up as I looked it over. Ugh. I couldn't tell, it looks real enough, but the Roast Turkey I had earlier also tasted real enough. Demon powers are a curious thing...

I shake my head, I didn't have time to analyze Sebastian's powers. I scrounge through the fridge for the ingredients I needed. I was no cook, in fact- I could only actually make one dish, and even that one dish was sketchy. By sketchy, I mean that it's a dish that literally anyone can create. I used to make it for my little sister who often had stomach aches. Let's see...ginger, maybe a bit of mint. And the rice! Can't forget the main part.

I then dug through the cabinets in search of a pot, which I soon found. I washed the rice and then rinsed it, and then washed the rice once more. Next, I have to keep the rice submerged under the water for about thirty minutes. And now, to cut the ginger-

"Milady?"

I _jumped_ , almost knocking over a cup of water as I flailed. "Wha! Oh, it's just you Sebastian, you scared the cr- I mean, you surprised me." I rubbed my chest, trying to calm down my beating heart. That was freakin scary! He hadn't even made a sound.

He rose a thin brow and gave me an indulgent smile. I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. "What are you doing, milady?"

I turned back to the uncut ginger. "I'm trying to make some porridge for Ciel. It should be easier for him to digest."

"You cook?"

"Mnm, I dabble." If dabble means that I can literally count the number of dishes I can make with one hand _,_ then yes- I dabble. I dabble like a pro in fact.

"That is very kind of you milady."

I smile, "It is also very kind of you to get Ciel some warm milk, Sebastian."

"Pardon?"

"Don't think that I didn't see that cart and that jug of milk behind you."

"Ah," I am pretty sure that he was giving me one of his sparkly smiles once more. "But I suppose the young master does not require the warm milk if milady is making porridge for him."

"Of course not. Give it to him anyway. Ciel enjoys warm milk." A flash of the past crept on me once more, the both of us snuggled under the blankets as we drank warm milk. "Make sure to bring honey to him as well."

When it looked like he was about to possibly protest, I cut in- "Besides, the porridge will have to take a while to finish."

"Very well, Lady Elizabeth."

"Oh! And Sebastian."

"Yes milady?"

I turned around and beamed at him. "Thank you for taking care of Ciel!" He blinked, seemingly a bit stunned before smiling once more. "Of course, it is only expected of me, he is my master after all."

I turned back to dump the water out of the rice. "Still, thank you." I paused for a moment to turn on the fire. "Please stick with him till the very end." Because even if Sebastian was a demon who was only listening to Ciel because of a contract, he does not lie (to Ciel at least). He will keep Ciel safe until Ciel's goal is reached, it is just that simple. They may tease and mess with each other a lot, but in the end- Sebastian will obey Ciel. He might be a problem when Ciel gets his revenge, but for now- I can count on him to protect Ciel. He can't let his food escape from him after all.

"Certainly."

And that's all I needed.

* * *

I knocked on the door twice, pushing the cart in when I was sure that Ciel had been notified.

Ciel seemed to have finished the warm milk seeing how Sebastian was about to leave.

"Ciel!"

"Elizabeth?!" Ciel had clearly thrown the duvet over his lap, probably because he was only wearing a large shirt. I almost snickered at his embarrassment.

I grin at him. "I made you some porridge, it should be easier to eat." He looked rather doubtfully at the pot on the cart, and I twitched, feeling rather offended.

"Then, I shall take my leave now."

Ciel blinks, turning to the butler. "Sebastian."

The demon paused. "The warm milk...was good." Ciel admitted, looking slightly embarrassed. I tried not to 'aww' at that, feeling my lips involuntarily twitch upwards at the cute scene. I began to take the lid off the pot and added a sparse of mint on top as I continued to listen.

"I am glad to hear it."

"And one more thing..." Ciel paused for a moment, clenching the duvet tightly. "I won't forgive you if tomorrow's breakfast tastes as foul as what I had earlier this evening. Possible porridge or not, I don't care to live on warm milk for every meal like a puppy."

...I'm pretty sure that I literally heard Sebastian's mask and patience shatter with a large ' _CRACK_ '.

I attempted to smother the giggles, but I'm pretty sure I failed seeing how both Ciel and Sebastian gave me a strange look.

"S-sorry! I just, wow. You guys are hilarious. Don't mind me, Sebastian. Continue on." The raven gave use a stiff nod and smile before leaving.

.

"So, time to eat porridge!" I cheered, smiling brightly while Ciel let out a small groan. "I promise it will taste fine Ciel, and if you cannot finish it all- it is fine. Just eat what you can, okay?" He gave me a reluctant nod as he sat up properly.

I proceeded to scoop some of the porridge up, blowing on it lightly. "Here, say 'ahh'."

Ciel flushes and then scowls, swiping the spoon off me. "I don't need to be fed like a child, Elizabeth." I blink, clamping a hand over my mouth in embarrassment. Shit! That had been me on auto pilot, of course Ciel wouldn't want to be fed! "Sorry, Ciel. I didn't mean to." I push the cart and pot closer to him. "Oh, and here are some sliced bananas, you should be able to eat that as well. Make sure to drink some water if you need it!"

"Hmn..." He blows on the spoon on more time before hesitantly putting it into his mouth.

I lean in closer consciously. "How is it? Edible?"

He blinks ( _'he only has one visible eye now, the contract' my mind whispers_ ), looking quite speechless. "It's...good." He sounded quite incredulous, which I took offense in. He didn't need to sound _so_ surprised!

I still feel happy though, this way- he can at least eat _something_. "That's good. Eat, but don't eat too much all right? I don't want it to upset your tummy."

Ciel frowns and looks up at me, mouth opening but no words coming out.

"Ciel?"

He purses his lips. "No, it's nothing."

"Alright then, I suppose I shall take a bath now. Then I'll come back to get the plates alright?"

Ciel huffs. "Do not worry about it. Sebastian will get it. Go rest."

I feel a bit bad for Sebastian, but I was honestly too tired to care. The whole day was a complete emotional roller coaster for me. "Alright."

.

After taking a quick bath and changing my clothes, I stopped by the kitchen to eat an apple and some bread (Sebastian had moved my bags to the room next to Ciel's) before grabbing a pillow from my room and marching over to Ciel's.

* * *

"You are NOT sleeping with me." His awkward wording almost made me cackle.

"But Ciel!" I pout, clutching my super duper fluffy pillow to my chest. I was currently in my nightdress, a short, thin- white kinda frilly dress with shorts underneath. "How can I make sure you don't disappear if I'm not right next to you?" _How can I make sure you don't have nightmares? How can I protect you if I am in the next room?_ "Besides, did you not agree to this?"

Ciel flushed as he glowered at me. "As every normal person would, I thought you were simply asking that you wanted to stay in the manor!"

I roll my eyes, "Did you really expect me to leave you alone at night? I am hurt Ciel, to think that you do not know me enough to know my thinking process."

He grimaced. "This is scandalous, Elizabeth!"

"Come on, kiddo, (he scowls at me here) it's not as though we are doing anything inappropriate. All we're doing is sleeping." And maybe some snuggling. And cuddling. "Besides, we often slept and took naps together when we were younger. Nothing has changed, Ciel."

He froze at that, his single blue eye sharpening and darkening. "That is a lie, Elizabeth, and you know it."

I blanch, squeezing the pillow to my chest even tighter as I lowered my head. I swallow thickly. "I apologize, Ciel. That was my mistake. Things have changed, but...I'm always here you know?" I look up, gaining more confidence. "If you ever need any help, depend on me. Am I not still your best friend?" The words that I had spoken a year ago flowed out once more, albeit a bit differently.

His single blue eye seemed almost piercing as he scanned my face for lies. "Of course," he finally answered, eyes softening, and for some reason, he reminded me of Uncle Vincent at the moment. "But I do not need your protection."

I brighten as he calmed down. "Hmn, but I'll still give it to you whether you need it or not."

Ciel sighs, "Very well, since you are too stubborn to be convinced."

"So?"

He lifts a brow. "So?"

"May I?"

He blinks, brows twisting before looking resigned. "Alright, but hurry up." He lifted the duvet. "If you are noisy, I will kick you out."

"Yes sir!" I beam at him, hurriedly running to the bed and scooting into the covers with a content sigh. He shut off the lights.

I wriggle on the bed, shifting closer to Ciel. It oddly reminded me of when Ciel was only a week old, when I had made my Oath to him. I threw an arm around his thin figure.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing much."

"Please get your arm off of me."

I simply grin, scooting closer until our foreheads met. "Hey, Ciel."

I felt his brows scrunch up as he tried to move away. "I'll stay with you till the end, okay? So please don't push me out."

"You are my betrothed."

"Yea?"

"So even if I wanted to push you out, I doubt I can. Besides, you are simply too stubborn."

"Mhn." I wanted him to confide in me, to not shy away from me. To not block me out. I did not want to stand behind him, I did not want to stand in front of him. I simply wanted to stand next to him. So really...it's okay if he used me, though I highly doubted that he would. Ciel, despite his harsh views on the world- was too soft after all.

.

"Oh! I forgot. Hey, Ciel?"

A sigh. "What is it, Elizabeth?"

"I missed you."

A pause as he (probably) flushed.

"...I missed you too."

* * *

 **Filling the Kitchen Extra**

* * *

 _"Don't worry, Ciel! I just need to borrow the kitchen for a moment!"_

"Wait, Elizabeth!"

...And then she was gone.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Is there any food in the kitchen?"

A pause. "No, young master, I'm afraid not."

"...I see." Ciel pursed his lips, pinching his nose in annoyance. "Then I command you as your master, to disregard what I said earlier for this _one_ time. Go do your demon magic and fill the kitchen with food and the necessary utensils."

The raven twitched at how his powers were being referred to as 'magic' but obliged nonetheless. "Yes, milord."

And then he was gone.

.

He arrived at the kitchen rapidly with spare time, filling the refrigerator with many fresh ingredients, ranging from meat to fruits to vegetables. He then filled the cabinets with plates, pots and pans. Knives, forks and spoons were placed in a separate one. He then flashed back to Ciel.

"Done?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

* * *

 **Ciel's POV Extra** (I didn't know where to fit this, so see it as you want)

* * *

"You've changed your hairstyle." It wasn't a question, it was simply a flat statement with little to no curiosity.

She looked at him curiously, her bright hair shifting as she tilted her head.

She always did that, and Ciel had absolutely no idea why. It was such a ridiculous thing for a lady to do (but then again, _she was never ladylike when she was with him_ ) and it often reminded him of a dog. And wasn't that a funny thought? Elizabeth a dog. _Stupidly loyal, protective and always on my side._

Perhaps there are some similarities.

"Mhmn, I did." She looks at the ground for a moment before looking back at him hesitantly. He didn't think he had ever seen her hesitate before.

"Did you like the pigtails better?"

A pause.

Did he like them better? He looked at her, and remembered a slightly different Lizzy. One who wore childish pigtails and bright smiles. One who ran around with him with warm eyes when they was little, when everything was still perfect and alright. When he was still so painfully naive and thoughtless, when he had been so foolishly content in his illusion.

He looked at her, and saw her warm eyes. A Lizzy who wore ponytails and fancy braids looked back him, still full of bright smiles. The pigtailed Lizzy was a thing of the past, a past that can never come back again. After all, when something is truly lost, one can never get it back again.

"...No."

And if she does choose to wear pigtails once more on a random day (due to her whimsical moods), he doubted anyone would notice if his gaze lingers for just a little bit longer.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry for the lack of extra's in this one. I have read all of your suggestions. I will be doing Francis', Vincent's (probably) and I will definitely do Sebastian's and more of Ciel's. This chapter is actually semi-cannon. Hope you enjoyed it!

 **Please leave a review on your way out! Thank you!**


	5. Extra 1

A/N: Here is the promised extra! Just wanted to post this since um, school is starting in about a week so I might not update as quickly. Sorry DX Thank you for all the reviews by the way c: I enjoyed reading them all. Hope you enjoyed this depressing extra (only around 1,000 words) , I rushed a bit so there might be mistakes ahahaa.

* * *

 **Extra 1: Midnight  
** _The Mother, Duty till the End_

" _You gave your all to protect my little girl. So, I owe you one. You are worthy of being my son-in-law, Earl Ciel Phantomhive._ " -Francis

* * *

From the moment she had been born, Francis had already knew that her daughter would be different. The blond had never been a foolish person, she was not inclined to believe that her children were automatically 'special' and would be successful, she knew that if they wanted to thrive, they had to learn.

Edward was indeed a bright boy, but he was still a child nonetheless, but Elizabeth...she was a bit different. When she first opened her eyes, her eyes were surprisingly _clear_. Not completely clear, but it was much clearer then Edward's had been when he was first born. Like emerald cuts, she had looked up at her with bright eyes, looking slightly disoriented. Her daughter had spent a lot of time just _looking_ at her with surprising intensity, squinting her eyes all the while. There just seemed to be some sort of _comprehension_ in her eyes. Sometimes, when others talked to Elizabeth, she would actually respond. Not with speech, never in speech as she was much too young to talk- but simply with understanding in her eyes and faint nods. She was quite quiet, never really crying out unless if she needed something.

For a young infant, she seemed much too old, and it _bothered_ Francis.

.

When Edward finally met his new baby sister, Elizabeth's emerald orbs were clearer then ever. Seeing the two interact with each other, the blond could only sigh in relief, Elizabeth seemed to be a lot happier in Edward's presence. More child like, less solemn- and Francis can't help but feel thankful for it.

.

 _"When my child is born, let us have them engaged!"_

Francis didn't think she had ever felt so terrified in her life.

As much as she was honored to have her daughter betrothed to the Phantomhives, to her old family, she could only think of what's to come. Because...if Elizabeth did become betrothed to Rachel's unborn child, any chances of growing up normally would vanish like a wisp of smoke. She could still recall her own experiences as a Phantomhive, training- always training, learning, all Phantomhives have to be the best, ' _you must learn my dear daughter, for you are a Phantomhive and it is dangerous_ ' and _'others will try to use you, don't let them- learn to defend yourself'._ She hadn't minded the training that much, in fact- she relished in it. She had wanted to be strong, dignified and noble, but sometimes- just _sometimes_ she would just feel so _tired_ , all the lessons bearing down on her like a weight that could never lessen.

And to think that it was possible that her daughter would have to go through all of that as well.

She hoped that it was a girl.

.

"I want to learn the sword."

Six words. They were just six simple words yet Francis felt like she was shattering. She tried to talk her young - _too young_ \- daughter out of it, but she didn't budge. Elizabeth simply looked up with her bright green eyes, solemn and grim and _was this really a child?_ She was growing up too fast, and Francis could only watch as her daughter -her little girl- took on more weight every single day. If she had been terrified when Rachel proposed the engagement, _she was now drowning in her own fear._

Elizabeth had always been protective over Ciel, who had been younger, smaller and so much weaker. Who would have known that this protectiveness would only make her more determined to throw herself into her work? Ciel, her nephew, her son-in-law, she wasn't really sure what to think of the boy. He was awfully weak and pretty unsuitable for the heir of the Phantomhives, seeing the dirty work they did. He just seemed so innocent, but when Francis heard his vow to protect Elizabeth, she could only smile and approve. Ciel, who desired to protect Elizabeth, and Elizabeth- who will _make sure_ that she had the skills to protect Ciel. What an interesting pair. ( _If only she wasn't so young, too young to learn and train nonstop._ )

And as she agreed, Francis couldn't help but think that she had somehow failed her along the way.

.

The Phantomhive Manor gets burned down, it's occupants either dead or missing and Francis watches as her daughter wilts like a flower that had not been watered. The blond had never been good at comforting others, it simply felt awkward and she had no idea how to cheer her daughter up. When she attempted, she only received a blank look - _as if she didn't understand why she needed cheering up, why she was being talked to_ \- her usually bright eyes dull. "...I failed, Mother." And then she turned around and left, leaving Francis to wonder what exactly she had _failed_ at-

Francis wished that her daughter would depend on her, like all children depended on their mothers. She could only watch, and when Elizabeth came up to her for permission to learn medicine, how could she refuse?

Especially when the light was back in her eyes?

.

Ciel comes back with a black clad, indecent butler in tow, and Francis just _knows_ that Elizabeth would want to stay with him.

" _Please_ , Mother. One week, just one week- that is all that I ask of you." And Francis can -once again- only watch as her green eyes glittered with determination and stubbornness. But how could she say no when Elizabeth looked at her like that? When she begged and simply looked so desperate? ( _It didn't matter if it was indecent, when there are only a handful of things that can possibly cheer her up- how can she even think about refusing?_ )

Elizabeth is her little girl after all, and despite her rigidness, she _loved_ her. She would never allow any harm to her daughter, her child, her own flesh and blood.

Francis knows that she is not the best mother, not when she lacks gentleness, not when she cannot even cheer her own daughter up. Her children are so independent and Elizabeth especially so. And as much as she wanted to protect her, her little girl didn't need her (as much as it stung to admit it). But Francis knew that Elizabeth loved her, appreciated her, and was often happy to be praised by her. Francis may not be the best mother, but it would be a cold day in Hell before she gave up on her children.

* * *

 **Please review on your way out! What do you think?**


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm thrilled by all the positive response this fic has garnered! Like seriously, I cannot thank you guys enough! I don't really understand why this got so much attention but I'm grateful nonethless! I've been struggling with this chapter forever, which explains my lack of updates tbh aha. But after a certain point, I managed to write a big portion of it today for some reason! This chapter is shorter compared to my other ones, but I'm just trying to get back into writing atm.

Thank you again for all the support! So far I've gotten over 100 reviews, 457 faves, and 482 follows! Im honestly weeping ahHHH I hope you like and that you'll tell me your thoughts! Also, I'm probably gonna change my user since its so cringe ahAHAHA And same with the old chapters im seriously crying a little at how weird they are.

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Dawn  
** _The Girl, Catching Up_

 _"_ _I'm fine for not being cute, as long as it means I can protect you!_ _"- Elizabeth_

* * *

I blink, squinting at the pale blue ceiling above me. Huh…when did it turn blue? I could've sworn it had been a nice, tan color before. It takes me about three minutes to realize that this— was in fact, not _my_ bedroom. Oh. Right… I was in Ciel's bed again. A glance next to me showed tangles of dark hair underneath the covers, confirming my absent thoughts.

Oh. Well, this was good. Ciel was back. He's here and safe. I can deal with this. I turn over, snuggling into the blankets once more, sighing in contentment. I usually woke up around this time to train, but five more minutes wouldn't hurt. Besides— it wasn't as if Mother was here to cat-

 _Sebastian!_

My eyes popped open, and I pale, rising up frantically. Holy crap— I had totally forgotten about him! What time was it? When would he enter to wake Ciel up? Oh god, he would never let Ciel live this down (no doubt making some jabs about how childish he was). _I_ would never live this down if Mother heard.

It takes me a minute to try to scramble out of the bed, fumbling and stumbling down as my legs had somehow gotten tangled in the duvet overnight. I cringed as I accidentally tugged the duvet a bit too hard, and took a quick peek at Ciel to see if he was still sleeping undisturbed. He was. Somehow.

A soft sigh left me and I began to tip toe across the carpeted floor. I grimace as I remembered what I was wearing. I had to change, immediately. On hindsight, I should have transferred my luggage over to Ciel's room, or a change of clothes at least. But hindsight could screw itself. (I tried not to think about how I kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again despite this being the second time I was in his bed.)

I quietly opened the door and shut it behind me, squinting into the hallway to see if the coast was clear before making a mad dash to my room which luckily wasn't far off. The floor was _cold_ though, and it made me want to curl my toes. I really should have brought my slippers.

Seeing my destination made me feel a sense of relief. I could finally change into more 'proper' clothing. If anyone were to catch me in my current dress, even if it wasn't inappropriate in the least by modern standards, I would have to deal with a lot of fussing. Reprimands I really didn't need. Edward would also probably challenge Ciel for my honor or the like. Just the thought had me shaking my head. Breathing in deeply, I entered the room assigned to me.

.

I didn't meet the demon butler on my way to my room, but I certainly bumped into him on my way out. The timing was incredibly close, which made me suspect that some foul play was involved. Either way, I was properly dressed in a pink dress now, and if he had the tact required to be a butler, he wouldn't say a thing.

"Good morning, my lady," he greets with his stupid smile.

A smile slid across my own face, smooth and not at all forced. I had plenty of practice after all. "Good morning, Cie- Sebastian." I withheld the 'Ciel's dog' that was about to burst from my lips, but I think he noticed with how his eye twitched.

Ahh, I managed to make a jab in and the day had just started.

 _Today was going to be an awesome day!_

.

"You're leaving?"

 _Or not._

I blink, still chewing the biscuit that was currently in my mouth. Unfortunately, I had never mastered the skill to eat and talk properly at the same time, which caused quite a bit crumbs to fall and scatter. In response, Ciel sent me a rather withering look, even pausing in the midst of drinking his tea to squint at me judgmentally.

I cringed, embarrassment coloring my cheeks as I muttered a rather weak apology. A ten year old boy shouldn't be able to make me feel so ashamed, I thought rather grouchily. Stupid Ciel and his stuffiness and his stupid pretty blue eyes. I was older and (probably) more mature! To make that point, I straightened in my seat, wiping the crumbs off my lips with a napkin-

Only to make eye contact with a certain black haired butler. He gave me a polite, sparkling smile. Despite his bright visage, condescension and distaste seemed to radiate off him in waves.

I smiled at him brightly in return, my hands twitching sporadically beneath the table as I forced myself not to falter.

Must. Not. Punch. Butler. In. The. Face.

It's been about four days since I arrived at the Phantomhive Mansion, and life was... surprisingly peaceful. Nothing particularly exciting had occurred, and despite my initial worries, Ciel seemed fine for the most part. He didn't even get a nightmare! Or well, at least I thought he didn't. I had tried to stick to him at all times, but he got a bit cranky near the end of the second day- so I took that as a cue to back off. It was quite boring honestly; I spent my time writing, eating, and bugging Ciel. We'd bicker sometimes, and every time we did so— Sebastian would look as if he would rather throw himself out a window then deal with us.

Life was pretty good.

Ah.

Paula had arrived on the second day, looking quite teary and betrayed that I had left her behind. Apparently I had promised Mother to bring Paula with me? I… uh, don't remember agreeing to that though. (Memory problems already? Then again, I had also happened to be very emotionally compromised when asking Mother for permission— so I had an excuse at least.) Nothing else really happened.

I toyed with the thought of asking more questions about his sudden departure; what were the chances that he would be annoyed? Pretty high in all honesty. Ciel was in a bad mood, partly due to the fact that he could not do any actual work since he still needed rest- and partly due to Paula's pitying eyes and careful words. He was strung up basically. His injuries were mostly healed already, though he still didn't look as healthy as I would like.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

That… was quicker than I thought. I bit my lip, shooting a quick worried glance at the younger boy before huffing. Of course he would leave so early. Ciel was anything but patient. Clamping down on the worries that threatened to spill over everywhere, I gave him a cheeky smile. "Buy me a souvenir please~"

* * *

I slipped into the covers with a content sigh. Lovely, lovely bed. How I love thee.

Unfortunately, Ciel did not seem to share my cheery mood.

"…Elizabeth," he started with a glower. "How many times did I tell you? You are no longer allowed in my bedroom! It is not proper."

I internally rolled my eyes. This again. For some reason, ever since the first night's somewhat easy acquiescent— Ciel became more adamant on not allowing me in. Not that it mattered; I was still going to sneak in regardless of his— or even Paula's (and she did indeed protest) protests.

"But Ciel… you promised! You said that you doubted that you could push me out even if you wanted to!" It was a low blow I guess, but I was _tired_. Also, today would be the last day. Tomorrow he would be leaving for who knows how long?

Ciel sputtered, face turning red as I basically quoted his slightly cheesy words back to him. "Well! You hit in your sleep! And you take the blankets too!" He tugged at the blankets as if to prove his point.

I squawked, "I do not!" I did not have bad sleeping habits! "Take that back!"

"No!"

I would have normally cooed over the discomfited pout on his face, but I was too busy glaring at him to care. No one slandered my sleeping habits and got away with it. Not even Ciel.

We stared at each other for a while, both yanking on the blankets before I decided to make the first move. I dropped the duvet and lunged.

It… ended up into a squabble of wiggling fingers and scrawny elbows. I held back of course, being the calm, mature adult I am. Ciel was thin and still weak— I would be an asshole if I took advantage of that. Even if he wasn't weak, I would be an asshole regardless as I had _years_ on him.

Also, I think he weighed less than me.

Suddenly, Ciel stiffened— eyes wide before he started coughing.

 _!?_

"Ciel!" I scrambled away from him, trying to give him space as he continued to cough, his body shaking with the impact. His eyes were squeezed shut, brows creased in pain, and suddenly— all I could see were flashes of memories— of a much younger Ciel, face red and shaking beneath heavy covers. Tiny hands gripping much larger ones; my flaxen haired aunt's figure crouched over the bed.

 _"_ _Is Ciel okay?"_

 _A sad smile. Bright blue eyes._

 _A pause._

 _"…_ _He will be."_

My hands shook, was Ciel having an attack? "Ciel, breathe! Calm down!" I grabbed a hold of his hand, and tried to soothe him by gently gliding my fingers over his back and patting it.

It didn't help. My hands were still shaking.

There was no water nearby, and I couldn't leave Ciel alone. I _wouldn't_.

OhGOdOHgoDwhattodoohGOd

I wasn't good at handling… _this_ , or anything that put a lot of pressure on me— anything that made my role in it _crucial_. I would always freeze. I was the type of person to practice until I got something right, only to fail when it really mattered. It wasn't the first time seeing Ciel practically cough up his guts, but it certainly was the first time that I was _alone_. There was no Aunt Rachel, nor Uncle Vincent, ( _oh right, they were deaddeaddead_ ) and I was _terrified_. There weren't any servants either, no Tanaka, or—

Sebastian!

He would know what to do! "Sebastian!" Ciel was still coughing. "Sebastian!" He wasn't coming. Is it because I was the one calling? Sebastian wouldn't let his food get away would he? I moved closer, hands tightening as I murmured to him. "C-Ciel, call for Sebastian. He will help."

He cracked open one eye, face still twisted in pain. His lone blue eye looked tired… and there was something else in it too. For a moment, his coughing stopped, and I grew hopeful that his coughing fit was finally over. Ciel took in deep breaths, trying to calm his shaking. It did not surprise me however, when he resumed coughing. "Eliza— cough!" He grimaced, reaching a hand to my shoulder before his coughs began to once again die out.

"What is it, Ciel?" The shaking must've been contagious, as my voice was now wavering as well.

"I…" The only sign I got was the slight twitch of his lips before he knocked me over.

 _Wait what—_

I blinked, stunned as I suddenly had a nice view of the ceiling.

…What?

What just happened?

The wonderful view of the ceiling was soon replaced by Ciel's smug face. Oh. Ohhhh.

…I think I preferred the ceiling.

"That was a dirty move, Ciel." Maybe I should be angry that he had manipulated me in such a way, but I was just grateful that he was _okay_. That my incompetence hadn't gotten him killed.

"'All's fair in love and war' as you used to say. Now remove yourself from my room, Elizabeth."

Ew. I made a face, rolling away from him on the overly large bed. "No."

"Elizabeth." Ciel's tone was stern, and if I had been the real Elizabeth, I probably would have flinched. But I wasn't, so that was a moot point. I really should stop comparing myself to her though. I don't think it's helping my confident levels at all. Gosh, I was an independent teenage girl; I didn't need to compare myself to a child.

I pursed my lips, face mushed against the pillow. Not hearing anything else, I turned just a bit to take a small peek at him.

Ciel didn't look too happy, so I quickly burrowed my face into the pillow again. Maybe if I ignored him long enough, he'll have no choice but to accept it. I didn't know how long I had my face pressed into the pillow, but I finally couldn't take it anymore and flopped around. It was hot, and my face was surely red, but the fresh air made me sigh happily. I could finally _breathe_.

Ciel was still looking at me, his lone blue eye sharp. Was something wrong?

"Ciel?"

I sat up, concerned as I crawled closer to him. "Whats the matter?" I hesitantly reached out to touch his cheek, but he moved his head. I stopped immediately.

"I'm fine."

He looked directly into my eyes and repeated it once more.

"I'm fine."

Was he trying to convince me or...?

I opened my mouth, at a loss. What do I say to that? You're not fine? Its okay to tell me the truth?

Instead, I could only parrot him. "You're fine."

Ciel blinked, and then smiled brilliantly. And just like that, he collapsed onto the bed, pulling the pillow closer.

Leaving me completely confused.

 _What was that?!_

 _._

I ended up sleeping in his bed anyways, though I was so confused to the extent that I didn't even get to gloat over it.

* * *

Ciel did indeed leave the next day, just like he had declared. It left me a little lonely, but since Ciel was for sure breathing and well protected, I could finally relax.

And with that, I could finally concentrate and build my own networks.

.

Paula looked at the store dubiously, but I simply smiled, pulling her along.

The store wasn't shoddy, but it certainly wasn't a place an upstanding young lady would go to either. Thankfully, I wasn't an upstanding young lady, so that was a moot point. I smiled as I entered the store, greeting the man who was manning the front.

"Welcome! Miss Midford, here to pick up your order I see," the man grinned.

"Yep! I can't wait to see it."

"In just a moment," he promised, going to the back to find her order. It didn't take long for him to reappear with a rather long box. "Heres your custom order!"

I smiled, holding onto the box delicately. "I'll come again."

He laughed, and waved me off.

.

"My lady..." Paula began, unsure if she should broach the topic.

"Hmm?" I didn't look up, too busy opening the box. Inside was a fluttery parasol made of a soft but firm fabric. I slid my fingers across it in reverence. It was more than that however, but I wanted to test out that other aspect when I got home. It would be silly to pull a sword out in such a cramped carriage after all.

Paula peeked at the box, and sighed in relief that it was just a parasol. "Never mind..." What did she think it was? Some kind of dangerous weapon? Did I look like I was that irresponsible?

I smiled, and tried not to look too mischievous.

From how she paled, I guess I didn't succeed.

* * *

Next step: find minions!

Or something of the sort. I've been planning for a while now, and while I couldn't act on these plans before ( _I was too weak, too distressed and-_ ) I could certainly do that now. I squint at my list again, before shaking my head. Finding minions would be a lot harder.

As the carriage approached the Midford Mansion, I ran the plan through my head.

I didn't have many connections; I didn't have a reliable source of information either. There was just one place I could afford to go to without attracting too much suspicion. I worried my lips. It was a rather dangerous place all considering, therefore it was a much debated action. Was it worth it? I didn't have Ciel's connections, so it was obvious I would need my own source. If I wanted to keep up at least. In the end, I had decided that yes, it was worth it. I sure as heck am not backing down now of all times.

I pursed my lips, finally looking up as we slowed to a stop. Paula stepped down first, reaching a hand up to help me. I handed her the box before jumping down myself. She looked at my disapprovingly and I laughed, taking the box back. With a cheeky wave, I flew into the house and hopped up the steps to reach my room.

Shutting the door and locking it, I placed the box down to change. I tugged at the bottom of my dress and tried to lift it up and off with little success. Oh boy. Taking another breath and sucking my stomach in, I finally managed to get it off.

I really, really hated these damn dresses. Luckily, I could take this one off. Some of the other dresses required help. Wheezing, I stripped off my shoes and tights. Next, I made my way to my rather large closet. I crawled for a while, trying to find where I put the garments, before finally finding them. I had stuck them behind a dresser, with a bit of the fabric poking out.

Yanking the fabric out, I quickly wiggled myself into the shirt and trousers. Pinning my hair up, I quickly snapped a newspaper boy cap on. By the time I emerged from the closet, I didn't look like a lady anymore. I grinned at the mirror, liking the look. I straightened out the sleeves a bit, before deciding better of it and rumpling it up again. A street brat didn't have neat clothing after all. In fact, my current attire was still too neat. Some dirt and muck would fix that I figured.

I pulled at a strand of my bright hair. That had to go too. I cringed at the thought of mussing up my hair, but it was necessary. I really did wish I had found a wig in time. The one I had requested was unfortunately still in the works. Ah well. Nothing was perfect after all, and this would have to do.

.

Paula luckily wasn't around when I finally went out, and I beamed, leaving the mansion home free. On the way out, I had smeared some of the dirt on my sleeves and trousers, even adding some to my hair and face. Adjusting the hat once more, I hoped my face wasn't too clear. It would mess everything up if someone recognized me after all. I patted my pocket, feeling the bulge of the pistol still there. Hidden in my baggy sleeves were daggers, one that could hopefully appear as soon as I recognized an danger. Swords were still what I worked best with, but I couldn't afford to carry one around. It'd be too obvious. Brushing a strand of my hair back, I continued to walk down the streets. No one seemed to bat an eye.

Alright, it was time to make a trip to the slums.

* * *

 **Vincent's POV Extra**

* * *

She was odd. Unnatural. Wary.

.

Deft fingers plucked the wooden piece off the board before smoothly releasing it once more. The familiar sound of wood clacking against the checkered board brought him little amusement— but it was still satisfying to his ears nonetheless.

"Check mate." A small and cordial smile spread across his face as the other party groaned in defeat.

"You have won once again!"

Vincent Phantomhive chuckled modestly, "Ah, but it was a close game this time."

(It was always a close game.)

.

It didn't take long for him to notice the wary stares and stilted words. Those bright green eyes of hers followed him constantly, observing his every movement— almost as if she was trying to take apart his actions in order to figure him out. It amused and puzzled him at the same time. He had done nothing (in front of her) to warrant such suspicion after all. Occasionally, he wondered if this wariness merely stemmed from the fact that he had rarely spoken to her; that he was distant to her compared to his wife and son. Perhaps she simply found him intimidating?

And then she would wrinkle her brows, green eyes almost drilling into him and that thought would dissipate like smoke rising from a chimney.

She was wary of him, and one could say she was even scared. But it was more than that.

There was something about her that was… abnormal. It felt as if he was missing not only one piece— but several pieces of the puzzle.

.

"Father!" Cherubic arms wrapped around his leg before the excited blue eyes of his son peered up at him. "Welcome back!"

Vincent smiled, indulging his son as he picked him up and propped him against his chest. "I'm back, Ciel." He pressed his lips against the child's forehead and Ciel giggled as he wrapped his arms around Vincent's neck. "How was your day?"

The boy perked up, "I played with Lizzy! It was fun!" Vincent smiled, his dark eyes drifting to the figure at the side. Elizabeth.

The little girl blinked up at him, looking almost startled as they made eye contact. She gave him a sheepish smile, before curtseying. "Hello, Uncle Vincent."

"Hello, Lizzy." The older man almost chuckled at her twitch, it was clear that she did not like the nickname. "Where's Rachel?"

"Mother is having tea with Aunt Francis," Ciel told him giddily, and Vincent tilted his head. Ah. Of course. "Why don't you call for her for me, Ciel?" The boy nodded eagerly, and escaped from his father's grasp as he lowered him.

This left him with the peculiar blond. He rose a brow, having expected that she would run off with his son.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, as if she wanted to say something but was not willing to open her mouth. Her face might have looked quite solemn if it wasn't on such a cherubic face. She was quite an adorable little girl, if not too observant for her own good.

Vincent smiled and waited, and his patience was soon rewarded.

"Must Ciel learn swordsmanship?"

Ah.

Vincent smiled once more before crouching down. "Well, Lizzy, Ciel will take over the Phantomhive family one day, and he needs these lessons."

The blonde frowned at him, not convinced. "I'll protect him. With his body, he doesn't need to learn such a thing."

Vincent's smile shrunk, brown eyes narrowing. He had heard that the blonde was rather prodigious with the sword, but was she that confident in her skills?

"As he is the man, he needs to learn. A bird can't be caged forever," he murmurs. "He needs to grow."

Elizabeth shrunk back, seeming to understand. No. She had long already understood this, but had wanted to ask anyways. What a precocious little girl. Vincent smiled, placing a hand on her hand and tousling her hair. If something happened to him, he supposed he always had her to count on. There was no doubt she would protect him.

* * *

 **Thank you again! Please tell me your thoughts as always, and what other omakes you'd like to see!**


End file.
